Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude

Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude
Where Great Intelligence Goes To Be Insulted

Tuesday, 22 August 2017

Father Of The Year

Tuesday BARF

All aboard!

Getting Old And Disconnected

I see it in my parents and seniors all the time. They live in a different age and have no friggin clue about what is really happening in the world today. My dad is in his late 70's and recently bragged about how he stays current by reading the local media shit rag from cover to cover... and I didn't have the heart to tell him he'd be better off reading The Thunderbox to stay informed, HAR HAR HAR! Mom and my former in-laws were the worst - they would watch shit like the day time TV talk shows like Orca Winfrey, The View, and other Gong Shows to get the info for their political opinions. Honestly -  I cannot believe that people can be that stupid and clueless. It's been my contention that stupidity is a function of laziness - but stupidity like that is deliberate and takes a willful effort. The seniors in my family aren't - and never have been lazy.

I AM lazy. And proud of it too - I learned the hard way that if you're a lazy goof off like me... it is far less effort for everyone to do your homework and get it right the first time, rather than slack off and F it up and have to do it again.

When that crap at Harlotville broke out and vibrants and fatties tore down that statue - both the former Bush presidents stood up to disavow racism and condemn Nazis and such - not realizing that the corrupt media was playing them for fools. Of course, Trump answered the media with a question that made their heads explode: "What about the actions of the Alt Left?" Trump may be an old fart, but he's still in the game, he's connected to his power base and he sees the world for what it is, whereas my parents and the other seniors are out chewing their cud in the pasture - thankfully far away from the levers of power. There are a few revered elders on my Toilet Roll to the right - and they are still in the game and well informed. How is it they can stay informed and engaged when my parents and in laws can't?

All the time now I am on the internet and seeing the kids or younger men fighting about stuff that I have absolutely no idea what they're talking about. When that happens I tend to shut my mouth and quietly wander off to try and inform myself. More and more I turn to the Z Man. He reminds me a lot of Uncle Bob - another old fart that managed to stay connected and involved even though he was older than I am.

There but for the grace of God go I. I've given Quatermain a side arm and some ammunition with the express orders that if I ever get as stupid as my in laws - he is to shoot me and dispose of my remains in the dumpster behind Uncle Bob's School For Retarded & Wayward Boys. (Please...I don't want the cafeteria cook finding my corpse...). As always - I'll try to stay in the game, but when it gets too fast and too vicious for an old fart like me to keep up - it's good to have young fellas handy to take over when we get old and frail! HAR HAR HAR!!!

Another old fart I love and respect used to say "Get in the game or go home!" Let us hope that men like Quartermain, The Z Man and others can find homes for us when the time comes!  :)

Have a great Tuesday!

Monday, 21 August 2017

How Did This Slip Under My Radar?

Once again, I am forced to rely on Rodger Schlong (The Real King Of Fwance) to save the day:

The Royal Canadian Mint has just announced they are going to remove the polar bear from The $2 coin in view of its demise due to global warming!

At the height of political correctness, they will replace it with two gay deer.

Knowing Rodge - this is likely a good rude joke. But, knowing the Canukistani political class - infested as it is with butt blasters, colon cowboys, carpet munchers and other degenerates - something like this, sadly, is almost inevitable.

Sadly, the line between comedy and horror is awfully thin up in Canada these days.

About The USS John S McCain

A lotta people are utterly disgusted with the USN these days what with all the mishaps and collisions. I like to poke fun at all the branches of our militaries and picking on the Swabbies is my favourite. They can take a rude joke and dish 'em out too! And they seem to share my philosophy about humour too - if anyone gets hurt it's alright as long as it was an accident and there's room for some good sport.

With that as my motivation I lurk at a lot of milblogs and from what I've been seeing the Navy took it in the shorts during The Buckwheat Administration: budgets were slashed or mishandled by political miscreants and meddlers in Washington; experienced, blooded and capable officers in the high command were quietly pensioned off and retired - to be replaced by bitchy trannies and queers obsessed with their crotches. Token women were being slotted into high pressure roles that only a handful of the best men could handle. Darwin and Murphy were promoted into the Admiralty. Those swabbies had a tough job before; in today's political climate it's a miracle they can even get a boat on the water.

It's bad enough that these poor slobs have to serve on a ship named after a blithering old idiot that should have been put out to pasture himself - decades ago. I'm not an expert on US politics but my sense of the John McCain is that he should have retired to harass the children and grandchildren and do the great things that old men get to do - long ago. Instead he stayed on past his due date and he makes an ass of himself every time he gets in front of a microphone. As some wank put it - there's a metaphor in that and a collision that looks like the height of naval incompetence.

All that has nothing to do with what happened the other day. A lot of folks are asking 'How dumb do ya gotta be to crash a ship as large as a destroyer into a ship the size of a tanker...???'

I ask questions like that every day. Look at your own jobs: how many times have you seen problems, crises, and panics break out because of absolutely ludicrous coincidence and bad luck? Shit happens, folks. And I have seen any number of otherwise rational adults lose their fuggin minds when it happens and they make things worse.

Say a prayer for the sailors - and get out of their way and let them sort this out. It was an ACCIDENT. The sailors involved are professionals and cannot take this personally or let it impair their readiness. Crap like this happens to us all the time. People get hurt or killed on the job here in Civie Land too.  So - to our friends in the navy (you two know who you are) Sort it out, recover and mourn your dead - and get on with it.

That's an order!

Batteries Recharged

Friday after work I hopped behind the wheel of the truck and drove the camper out to the rifle range for a weekend out of the house. It's only about 45 min away but it's enough. I set up camp then me and my dogs go round to all the other camp sites looking for mischief and the good-for-nothing-seniors are always happy to oblige. Seniors love to talk and Mort the dawg likes to listen - and be spoiled rotten by them. On Saturday morning we were gone so long, the wife came looking for us and thankfully, she rescued us from an old boy who just wouldn't shush up! HAR HAR HAR! She did it tactfully and politely so that the old boy was charmed when we left.

On the range I was just about ready to throw my guns in the garbage and take up stamp collecting. I haven't been able to shoot well at all from the sitting position at 200m and part of the problem is the scope mount on my rifle - I have an expensive, custom mount inbound any day now from the boys at but then realized that was only part of my problem - I wasn't shooting the position correctly and of course - what follows from that is crappy shooting! It's easy to see in others when I nag coach them - but I didn't see it in my own form. A little adjustment, a tweak of the sling - and then I locked up like a machine and started punching scores just like I did 15 years ago. I almost wept with relief! I started doing the same with the 5.56 too!

When I packed up and went back to the trailer for supper my wife had put some veggies and chicken in foil and was grilling it on the campfire. My goodness - that supper was food fit for a king - which I was!

There's seasoned chicken, peppers and cukes 
in the foil,
cooking to perfection...

I had to go into Tofield because I had run out of scotch on my last trip and forgot to replenish my supplies.

Holy Mackaral! Did I drink all that....?

I did! It's the damndest thing. Years ago I bought a bottle of Old Pulteney and wrote it off. I just wasn't impressed with it at the time... but it was all they had at the liquor store in Toefield so I bought it - and almost drank the quart! I am getting to be a bigger slush bucket than Mad Jack! I was so gassed I even drank it out of a shot glass - you can get flogged for that in certain circles. But the food, the smoke from the campfire, the dawgs... and the last days of summer... something special was in the air and it was all good.

A wild tree tries to break into my camper...

In any event I am after a couple pieces of top notch camping gear. I think there is one with a kettle that hangs down from a chain over the campfire too... I had forgotten how much better food tastes when cooked on a real campfire. Used to do it all the time when we were kids...

I GOTTA buy one of these... it's Monday and I gotta go back to work.  :(

Hope y'all had a great weekend.

Friday, 18 August 2017

Turn The Tables On 'Em

That is a vast improvement...

History is never what they say it is. I was listening to some professor of antiquities and he drove the point home with a lecture on the Spartan battle at Thermopylae. If ya listen to the ancient Greeks it was an epic battle in an age of heroism - and he read translated accounts of the battle that read like that one ya saw in the theatres awhile back: The Persians launched enough arrows to darken the sun; waves of assassins, cutthroats, and elite mercenaries and monsters from around the world were hurled against the vastly outnumbered Spartans - and fell upon their spears. Blood ran like rivers, corpses were stacked high enough to make a wall, etc etc. The Spartans were gods of war and fell dramatically and heroically against overwhelming odds.

The Persian account of that same battle was "We came upon 300 Spartans at Thermopylae; we rolled over them and continued on..." That's it. Done. From their perspective it was a minor firefight and not worth much more than a few words.

I'm an amateur chit house historian or hobbyist of sorts and I just love that stuff. I watch all the crockumentaries and docu-dramas put out about ancient Rome and Greece, and pretty much everything else. History is important, ya gotta know where ya came from to understand where you are and where you're headed. When I saw those confederate statues and monuments being torn down by yammering mobs of idiots - I wanted to kill someone. I still do. That's a crime against all of us. The people that did that are offended by reality and history and should be locked in a cage.

I felt the same way when they rolled over Iraq, and found priceless ancient murals that our buddy, Saddam Hussein - had painted his portrait into. Can you imagine the depravity? Art - from the dawn of civilization, defaced with the portrait of some murderous moslem mutt? Others were bulldozed and destroyed out of hand - by monkeys with no idea of the crime they committed against all of us.

But history is subject to perspective and time just as we are. Maybe a hundred years from now our kids will be wondering who Saddam Hussein was, and how he sent the world to war... and maybe they'll catch an historical sense of him by that Mesopotamian mural he defaced with his likeness. Maybe AR15s and AK47s will evoke derisive laughter in our kids as they hang in some museum someplace. as they try to imagine their foolish ancestors trying to fight with them. We ride on the tides of history ourselves.

I can see why the blacks hate those monuments. Is it the history that inflames the negroes? I'm asking because to me it just doesn't make sense. Negroes are treated better today than they ever have been, historically speaking. These monuments attest to that.

I'm going to notice something that maybe I shouldn't: black people don't seem to have monuments. Stuff from Ancient Greece and Rome is everywhere. Julius Ceasar is a bigger celebrity now than he was in his own time. We can laugh at ourselves as we enjoy the war stories (and appreciate the probable turd polishing) of our ancestors and appreciate their viewpoints and intents. Negroes don't have any of that. All we find of ancient Africans is bone fragments, stone age tools and random rudimentary artifacts. I dunno - if I'm wrong on that, somebody please - correct me. 

Could it be that blacks hate us because we have these monuments and can make more - and they can't unless Whitey helps them? If so, could it be that the men of the Confederacy understood the black man better than we do today? I'm beginning to think so.

I won't demean myself to do the usual virtue signalling where I stumble all over myself to apologize for white racists, condemn racism and disavow Nazis  and other prog demons. The idiots accusing people like me of stuff like that don't give a damn about history nor are they smart enough to understand the value of it. I don't hate black people, and I am smart enough to take them one at a time and treat those of good character with respect and courtesy.

It has been an unpleasant week, with some unpleasant questions. Take the time to think about them, ignore the provocations and the circus monkeys - and see where you end up with the answers. 

Have a great weekend.

Filthie's Curio & Relic Shop


My arse is draggin today folks. Here is some vintage gun porn while I try to get my skin on frontwards.

The Sound Of Silence

Turdiebeach over at The Forty Five goes into full decompression.

It's almost a poetical read and so relaxing my blood pressure dropped by a few gigapascals just reading it.  It was so well written I had to decline to poop in the comments lest I spoil the atmosphere he created. He reminds me of when my family was younger with a kid and cats and in-laws and pandemonium.

But if I were to offer advice to men overcome with the noise, mayhem and BS of modern family life, this is a capital idea:

No, I haven't lost my marbles (errr - scratch that, yes I DID lose my marbs ... but this is a rare moment of coherence for me so listen up, especially you young fellas).

Bow hunting is AWESOME. Ya don't need much equipment, just enough to fool the old lady and the family. Ya find some bush or forest land off the beaten track, build a blind - and get a good ass box to sit on (a lawn or camp chair's even better) - and park it. In about 30 minutes, if you're quiet and still all the critters will forget you're there and start going about their business. In about 45 minutes, depending on how good your chair is - you're fast asleep! No barking dogs. No nagging, no idiot kids, no radio or TV with some media idiot... but blessed silence in God's back yard! And you? You're free to read, sleep, relax and just chill! When you get back to civilization ya tell everyone what an ordeal your hunt was and if you're lucky they'll believe ya and you might even get some time on the couch at home to loaf rest up! HAR HAR HAR!!!!!

Of course to hunt with a bow, ya gotta stay on top of your skills. NOTHING focuses the mind like archery. Target archery is right up there with meditation or martial arts for creating the perfect state of mind. If you do your homework on the target range, your average hunting shot will be ridiculously easy the same way it is for guns.

If you opt to hunt from a tree stand make sure ya have a safety belt. Nothing beats a snooze in the trees. Once you've taken a good time out to blow the dust off your brain - archery is a damned good family sport too. I just loved the 3D tournaments I used to go to all the time - it's just like golf: as competitive or relaxing as ya want to make it. The beers and BS with the boys afterward are the stuff of lifetime memories.

Every now and then I'm downstairs and looking at my bow up on it's peg. I haven't drawn it in years. I tried to get my daughter interested in it but no dice - it just wasn't her thing I guess. But I knew other guys that had their whole family in it.

Archery is one of those sports that can be anything you want it to be: from a gruelling physical ordeal, to a martial art, to a free snooze in God's country. For you young guys - jump on this. Go down to your local archery store with an in-house range, rent a bow and try it. You can't buy tackle and get it properly set up from a dept store - this is highly specialized stuff these days. Just try it. It's one of those things everyone should enjoy at some point in their lives.

Thursday, 17 August 2017

Poor Baby

This one raised some concern round the hunting blogs. Apparently it's a bulk container for olives - probably left behind by WL, seeing as he swills martinis by the pail, HAR HAR HAR!!!

In any event, the rangers were able to capture the little bugger and get it off and the cub is fine. At least it's some good news, given the insanity of the last couple days.


The potato chip is the victim of one of the world's worst case of culinary crime. I like salt n' vinegar, BBQ sometimes ... and that's about it. But I've seen ketchup chips, dill pickle and flavours that make me want to vomit. What's next? Broccoli chips? Tofu?

Tin Tin Reloaded

I wonder what he's saying? Does
anyone speak Craven?

Wednesday, 16 August 2017

A Picture's Worth A Thousand Words

Bringing the ghetto to a neighbourhood near you soon!
These monkeys will have the place looking like Detroit in no time.

I can't do it any more. 

Eeeeeeeeeeevil Jooooooos......

Everybody is falling over themselves to signal their virtue and denounce the fascists and condemn the racists at the Charlotteville chimp-out/riot.

I guess The Rebel is the latest. Aprapos of nothing at all - Ezra Levant is a joo. Were it a newpaper, The Rebel would be a right wing rag sheet with no more redeeming value than a chit rag like The New York Times.

I don't know what really happened at Charlotville - let's get that straight right off the bat. But - I don't trust the media one damn bit either. If they tell me there is a riot going on someplace, with cars burning and pitched gun battles going on in the streets... it wouldn't surprise me at all if it turned out to be a couple old geezers playing a game of chess in the park! When the first reports came out about the incident my first reaction was: 'bullshit'. Now that progs can revise history at will - I don't trust any of the media output in the aftermath either.

It's almost illegal to notice these days, but most of the liberal media is owned by eeeeeeeevil jooooos. Trump's greatest detractors are mostly eeeeeeeeevil joooooos. (There should be an ominous echo when a fella says it like that, HAR HAR HAR!!!) I dunno what to make of that either. Some fellas have a serious hate-on for Jews and try to make miles on it. But I see guys like Ezra Levant and he's a Jew, and there's actually a lot of tough, quiet conservative jews ya never hear or see. For now, I will not take sides against joos, Israel or even rich people. I will choose who I hate for myself, thanks. But - I am watching them and seeing a few things that have really bad optics. Our Jewish friends might want to look at some of it and do something about it.

I'm not happy about the incident in that it seems to be that the public perception is that white nationalists were all Nazis and we all have to fall over ourselves and disavow/condemn/excommunicate them - to appease lefty social justice warriors.

  1. Were they REALLY neo-Nazis? (I'm asking because I don't know and I don't trust the media).
  2. Why do I have to disavow these alleged skin heads, and the liberals don't have to do the same with the vandals and thugs of the so-called Antifa types
I think Ezra Levant might have thought the same way which is why he dragged his feet on this. If so, there goes 'All the Joos Are In It' conspiracy. From a marketing/PR standpoint I would hate like hell to think that the people opposing Antifa at that disturbance were actually good people getting smeared by media slobs as fascists and scum of the earth.

For me, I'm pinch this one off and wipe. Until proven otherwise, I will consider it a fight between two groups of idiots with no clearly defined winners. Something tells me that if this idiocy grows into a civil war it will probably go much the same way.

A Lapse In Judgment

My 1911 - A Springfield Armoury Trophy Match gun.

Usually after I'm done shooting I come off the range and the poor kids at the gun counter gotta put on respirators because I've stunk the place out so bad with my marksmanship. Yesterday I did pretty good so as a reward to myself I figured I'd buy a couple more mags. Yannow that's a question that never gets asked in Gun Geek Forest: how many magazines are enough?

For years as a kid I couldn't afford good mags - so I would go dumpster diving in the gun shop bargain bins and come up with crap made in China or I would get used ones that were half in the bag... and they would work for a year or two and then they would fall apart or I would throw them out and go dumpster diving for replacements again. I usually had around 4~6 on hand with maybe two that could be relied upon to work, HAR HAR HAR! Once I got past the financial necessities of bargain bin life, I resolved to spend the money and get some decent bloody mags. So: how many are enough?

I can get by with two but then again, my shooting is classic stubfarttery that is composed of slow fire informal bullseye and plinking. I suspect that would be tons for personal defense too - even I can put a hobgoblin down in 14 rounds at close range, and I can't see myself in a tactical situation against Chuck Norris, Bruce Willis or Sylvester - and those guys all need at least 150 rounds to make one kill at the best of times, HAR HAR HAR!!! HAR HAR HAR!!!

What?!?!? Buddy, I'm gonna kick your shiny metal ass...!

Now that I can afford a decent gat and necessary accouterments ... to be on the safe side I bought four. Two came with the gun from Springfield Armoury; and I bought two more made by Nighthawk Custom. That's tons a mags for a guy like me and they're all of reasonable quality. So... for some reason I went and bought two more yesterday. 6 mags is DEFINATELY enough for a guy like me and is almost enough for the IDPA/IPSC run n' gun boys. (If I were one of those I would get 8 mags because they are just brutal on them, what with the dropping and stepping on 'em and so forth).

These last two are Wilson Combat mags. The gun store geek asked me if I wanted 8 or 10 shot mags and of course I had to have the tens - I didn't count on how ridiculous they would look in the gun! And the hell of it is I usually only load and shoot 5 at a time - so who needs a ten shot mag?

Well, I got 'em now and though they look silly they should do alright. They're made by Wilson Combat and cost about a $125.00 for two - and hopefully should carry me into my shooting retirement. The official advice here, from Castello Di La Filthie is to have at least 6 good mags for any auto-pistol you own. As always, I stand to be corrected in the comments.

Tuesday, 15 August 2017

I Don't Care...

... how often I get beaten up. I don't care how many wedgies I get. I don't care how many times the cool kids wash my face out with snow.

I love crocs and I'm proud of it!

Canadian Heavy Metal

Good Morning Mr. President!
Say - if that little shit in Korea is getting on your nerves... leave him to us.
A couple hours in The Box with Celine will change his attitude.

Where Have All The Good Men Gone

This seems to be a question that keeps coming up more and more often lately. Deb just asks it again in that post about shit-libs tearing down a Confederate memorial in that vid below. Uncle Bob and other denizens of the Man-O-Sphere used to answer it thusly:

Q. "Where have all the good men gone?"

A. "They're right where you parked them, chickie - back in the 80's..."

Sadly, Bob's passed on and his answer to this question needs to be updated: All the good men are either dead or retired! HAR HAR HAR!!!! HAR HAR HAR!!!

One thing becomes ever more apparent as I watch these 'Antifa' chimp-outs and 'protests'. For the most part, they are driven by women. Don't believe me? Watch those clips again. Sure, the idiot vandals and brawlers are mostly men... but the shrieking, hectoring circus ring masters on the megaphones, the ones hogging the media cameras afterward... mostly women. And 9 times outta 10, they are fat, ugly and bitter. Oh sure, there's pretty women in that gaggle of shit-libs - women are socialists and fascists by nature which is why they accuse everyone else of it. That young gal that got run over and killed during the Charlotteville riot was one pretty young lady - what a waste. Most women outgrow their tendencies to fascism and socialism... but so many do not.

Wherever you find pretty young ladies like that, you are going to find men trying to impress them. What better way to do that than at a riot, facing off against eeeeeeeeevil fascists, hatey racists and horrible-patriarchal-cis-gendered-etc-ad-nauseum white males?

Perhaps a better way to answer that question: the good men
are happily married to good women.
They certainly aren't out 'marching' with these morons.

Not to pick on Deb - I like her and really appreciate the fact that she stops by and takes the time to comment - but as a man... and a good man, or at least a fella trying to be a good man, my question to you, Deb, is this: what can I do with that gaggle in the pic above? The laws of chivalry prevent me from laying a hand on the women involved. (They may be re-defined as the laws of equality or some such bullshit - but the net effect is the same). If I punch out one of their beta males - I will become an instand Nazi, be harassed at home and at work, and more likely, get myself punched out by a bunch of vibrant chimpanzees in the process. Then the judiciary will go after me - a judiciary which just happens to be infested with diversity hires with a coherent agenda. I can't win. Nobody else can either.

It gets worse. In my family I was undermined as a father by people that think girls should be raised getting anything and everything they want. They get prizes and awards just for showing up, their self esteem is more important than their education, and if anything bad happens to them it's because they were victimized by somebody else - usually a white male. I tried to be a Good Man and failed miserably. I was accused of child abuse for spanking my daughter when she brought angry notes home from the teacher in Grade 3. (In my own defense, the time outs and grounding had no effect on her behaviour). When she started failing in school in junior high I dropped everything to tutor her. I was told by the teachers that she had learning disabilities and I was being mean and too strict - but by the time that girl hit grade 9 she could do basic calculus standing on her head. Those idiots in the pic above fail at math in university. When she decided she had a future as a gay artiste and I told her she was wasting her time and money on a useless liberal arts course that had no potential for future employment. I was told I was being mean and unsupportive of my daughter. When she graduated and got a part time job in a bicycle shop I was told that she was a powerful young woman, a rising star and had a bright career ahead of her. Silly me. I'm okay and over it - but what else can ya do? This is the kind of chit that Good Men run into. That's just for the fella trying to be a family man... Look at all the divorced men around - 80% of all divorces are instigated by the woman. If you want to tell me that 80% of divorced men were abusing and mistreating their ex? Harumpppfffff! I don't think so.
The good men have gone off the grid. They're either happily married to good women, or divorced and doing their own thing one day at a time and getting by. 

I had to laugh at church a week or two ago. The preacher was some gas bag and I just couldn't focus on his crap that day and I was looking at all the other poor slobs caught in the captive audience.  There was a pretty young blonde lady at the back with her youngster I had never seen before, and as the jack ass in the pulpit droned on I wondered what her story was. Divorced? Married? If so, was her husband an atheist? What would her child be like? Would it adopt the faith as its mother did? A couple weeks later she showed up with her sullen fella - probably dragged into church by his wife the same way I was! HAR HAR HAR!!!! Good for them! Young people are rejecting shit-lib progressivism every day and I think their numbers are going to grow. Good women need good men and they know how to make them.  ;)

This is just me out-gassing... but I think as Gen Z matures we will start to see more good men and women all the time. They aren't buying into the shit-lib progressive ideology, they've had brothers and fathers and grandfathers sacrificed to the new social justice order... and they're going to be smarter.

I choose to be an optimist.

Seen On The Feral Irishman's Site...

... and yannow, I probly shoulda left it there. Don't these assholes have any clue about what they are throwing away? Or the fires of hell they are playing with?

This ain't right.
And, I think it's the start of something worse.

I read somewhere that this is only the beginning - these f-tards want to destroy any reference to the civil war that doesn't fit in with their social justice ideologies. This is the stuff of fascism and communism. At some point, if they don't back down, we are going to have to kill them - and no bones about it. Up here in Canada, our Prime Minister Turdo La Doo - was put out because we don't have any of that horrible white supremecy up here in Canada. - "but we're not immune to it!!!!" he said hopefully. Like these turd brains, he just wants to signal his virtue and play at being a crusader for the Forces Of Good. Gun up, everyone, and prepare to defend yourselves. How long is it before these swine start lynching people?

Who is that??? Maude or Betty???
This is some anonymous hate mail I got. I 
think it came from Coopville...

Monday, 14 August 2017

The Filthie Gourmet

Oh hi everyone!

No doubt you're all amazed at the depth of my sophistication already, what with my work as a respected political pundit, marriage counsellor, RC braggart pilot, etc etc etc. On occasion I print 'Dear Filthie' letters from my fans and post them as a public service to my other reader. This one caught my eye because it will allow me to show off my romantic AND culinary acumen!


Dear Filthie,

My girlfriend thinks I am a wiener because I took her out to Rotten Ronnie's on Date Night. I need to redeem myself and quick! Can you recommend a romantic, and easily prepared dish to serve my girl friend and help me redeem myself as a suave romantic?

Yours truly,

BW Bandy

Hmpffffff.  Friends, ya get those from time to time: women for whom a burg just doesn't cut it. BW is obviously out of his league with this gal, but I think I have just the suggestion:

Mmmm..mmmm! Garnish that with sauerkraut, boiled cabbage and 
pickled eggs... washed down with an explosively high
alcohol content econo-size cooler!
She'll be putty in your hands!
Errrr... what's that green chit on there...?

Let us know how that goes for ya BW! 

Tune in next week when I school Mad Jack on the new toilet technology developed right here in Alberta: The SAGD Toilet (Steam Assisted Gravity Drainage). And be prepared to get ya hands dirty!

Have a great Tuesday!

Retard School Field Trip!

Class....class! CLASS!!! CLASS, STFU!!!!!!! Pete, you little bastid, did you put that dog chit in my desk? Or was it the dead birds? And - jeez Louise, which one a you pecker head retards emissaries from heaven drank my flask off??? Buggardly tosspots!!!! Oh dammit - WL has absconded with my cigars! The little turd is probly smoking them in the crapper as we speak! Dammit I hate these kids!!!

Now... never mind all that! As you all know I'm on a first name basis with the POTUS and he is a big fan of my work with morons. He's pulled a few strings with the military for us... and he's got us front row seats for this. As an added treat, afterwards we'll go to area 51 to meet and greet some aliens! Ordinarily we get the kids to give us signed parental permission slips - but we'll make an exception for you lot! Won't it be fun???

Remember Class! Radiation Is Our Friend!!!

The Hanging Butt

No doubt, some twink or snowflake would be offended by signs like this these days.
Folks... there's some people that SHOULD be offended,
and offending stupid people should not be a crime.

Yeah, I know forest fires are Bad Things. But - from an ecology standpoint, they are a necessary part of the lifecycle of our forests. In fact, some plants evolved to release and spread their seeds on the updraft created by forest fires.

My favourite deer spot in the foot hills had been burned out a couple years before. The junior forest rangers went in and replanted it all - and now there's so many godddamned trees, there's no open spots any more where a fella can ambush the deer when they come out to feed! HAR HAR HAR!

Haven't been there for years and I'm kinda afraid to go. Before I found that spot, my previous secret hunting spot got logged out except for a few stands of trees - and red neck f-knuckles used those spots as boondock camp sites - and left all their garbage behind. That was back in the 90's... I wonder if the area recovered? Last I saw, the gas and oil industry was moving in too.

There's even more people that should be hung these days - and a few that should be burned at the stake as an example to the others.

Red neck campers would be a good start.

In The Matter Of The Techincal Trades: A Vote

The Usual Suspects are sternly admonished in advance that they don't get a vote, given their penchant for mayhem and pandemonium:

Be it resolved: in the matters of conflict of the technical trades as they apply to the project, wherein the technical requirements of the Plumbers conflict with those of the Electricians ... the Plumbers shall have priority, and any Electricians thereto involved shall cease and desist - and give and yield to the Plumbers.

All in favour say 'aye' in the comments!

My Pop had a dim view of tradesmen even though he was a master mechanic himself. "All ya gotta know to be a good plumber is that shit rolls downhill..." and "All ya gotta know about being an electrician is to not let the smoke out...". (He came from an era when universities were prestigious and educated men were guaranteed a life in the upper class).

Of course when I finished up at school Pop was ready for me too: "All ya need to be an engineer is to know that the truck goes in front of a trailer, and ya can't push up on a rope.."

I had coffee with Scotty The Retard the other day and he was still a little high and twitching a bit. Scotty is a kid with issues but he does his level best to deal with them with everything he has - which ain't much. But I acknowledge and respect his effort! In any event, when my employers sober up and fire me for my incompetence - Scotty says he can get me a job at a biker bar at Pigeon Lake as a short order cook. That would be so awesome: my world would start and end with a grill.

Sunday, 13 August 2017

Don't I Know It...

A Bullet With Your Face On It...

Mr Filthie Goes To Jail

Hmpffffff!!!! When I get my one phone call, I'm
gonna have to call Quatermain to bail ME out!

We Are All Fascists Now

I remember when Obutthole won his first election. Turd brains across America creamed their jeans because America had finally elected a socialist and put him in the Whitehouse.

I used to be something of a political junky and figured I should give Obama a fair shot and read one of his books to get a better sense of the man. I got about a third of the way into one of his books and then just threw it in the trash. I realized that he was your typical black baboon that looked at everything in terms of race; and I also realized the man wasn't that bright. Hell, it was so obvious and although I didn't realize it at the time - I was starting to become a cynic or a skeptic. 

Uncle Bob was firmly convinced that the Bushes (George Sr. and Dubya) were easily both as dumb as Barkie; I personally can attest otherwise. Both those men were aviators and it doesn't matter what your last name is - if you are an imbecile the military won't put you in control of an aircraft costing millions. They can't afford it. (I am not saying that being aviators qualified them to lead a nation, I am saying those men were intellectual giants compared to Obama, and though they weren't whiz kids, they weren't dummies either).

Bob also was convinced the both the Bushes and the Clintons were 'crime families' in the manner of the Italian Mafiosos and I disagreed with him on that as well. The fact of the matter was that although the Bushes and the Clintons were brighter bulbs than the Obamas ... they weren't that bright. Crime bosses are usually pretty shrewd cookies. They have to evade the law. They have to know which wheels to grease and which palms to cross with silver. They have to be able to see traitors and saboteurs. That isn't the world of the fighter pilot. Consider the Clintons: Bill couldn't even keep it in his pants. Hillary? Pbbfbfbffftttt! That cunned stunt couldn't keep her emails private from a 14 year old hacker. While the Clintons ARE crooks, neither of those assholes could stay out of prison in the real world ... unless somebody very powerful was keeping them out. Ditto for Obama - men as dull and clueless as he is usually shine shoes and empty spittoons in cat houses. It's even worse up here in Canada: our own prime minister, Justine Turdo La Doo... was a substitute drama teacher before he got into politics. He's got the intellect of a 14 year old boy. 

They are working for someone. I won't hazard a guess as to who, that kind of stuff's over and above my pay grade. Evil joos? A secret cabal of corporate jillionaires? Good grief - I am going to need my own tin foil hat soon! All I know is that we are being played and the press/media is in on it. Also, there's a helluva lot of Nazis around these days, and it's just fine to punch them out, harass them and undermine them in private and in public. The Fourth Reich could burst into existence any second now - were it not for our Marxist friends willing to look out for the common good and protect all these marginal, defenseless minorities, ethnics and vibrants. Fascists are everywhere, but the evidence to convict them seems to be infuriatingly difficult to lay hands on... and for now, accusations of fascism will have to do!

Pull my other finger! It has bells on it.

Saturday, 12 August 2017

Old Dykes And Misc. Rambling

Back in the 80's our horses were Appaloosas and Pop bought them from his boss at the time, Stu, who lived up the road and ran a registered breeding operation for the nags. He was an awesome old fart and he was older than dirt back then - I was shocked to see him the other day, still alive, and looking much more older than dirt today. He was in a wheelchair and obviously was having problems looking after himself the way old folks in the home stretch do. He didn't recognize me - I was sixteen the last time he saw me.

Stu posed as the manager but his horse farm was actually run by his daughters. There were three - the oldest was a hulking, homely lesbian (this was back in the 80's when being queer wasn't a fashionable mental illness like it is today), his second was estranged and had run away from home or something - I didn't ask... and the third was a tall, hefty but still pretty amazon girl. Being neighbours, the dykes were forever coming over to chat with my mom who even back then, saw no problems at all with homosexuality. When they came over, Pop and I found chores to do or places to be because the estrogen levels in the house went up to toxic levels when the hens gathered to cackle and squawk.

One day we were hiding out on the fence line in the back 40 when I said to Pop, "It's called LEL. One day that house is going to explode with those cackling hens in it." Pop looked at me as he often did, like I had lost my mind. "LEL - Lower Explosive Limit. It's for gases and dusts and when they reach a certain minimum concentration, they form a fuel/air mixture that can combust with explosive force if ignited... those crazy bints in the house are doing that with estrogen..."

"Hmpffff," Pop shrugged. And smirked a bit.

"Do you think that's right, Pop? The dykes, I mean...?"

"No!" Pop said, probably shocked that I would even ask the question. "Well - what does Mom see in 'em?" Poor Pop..."Who knows? Go ask her yourself...!" I briefly thought about it, and said, "No thanks..." and we both sat smirking on the fence line on that fall day, light years ago - waiting for the clucky hens in the house to finish their .... session. Back before Pop got sick, sometimes we just "hung out" and didn't talk much. It didn't happen often, because Pop was an active busy man... and I sometimes wonder what he made of those times. "I don't care what Mom says," I said, "I don't think none a that BS is right..."

Pop leaned on a fence post, looking uncomfortable, looking off into the distance and said nothing.


So I stood in line at Rotten Ronnies earlier this week, preparing to burger myself to death, looking at old Stu in his wheelchair... when his lesbian daughter hobbled up. She was now old and grey haired and limping and the size of a mountain. Last I had heard she lived with her elderly parents with not even a "life partner" any more. She looked like she had been around the mill a few too many times and looked beaten down and sad. All I could think was - what a pathetic and sad state for a woman to find herself in. I looked at those two seniors - the daughter had to be in her 60's now and thought 'Had things worked out differently, that could be me there 20 years from now. Getting pushed around in a wheelchair by my barren, mentally and morally bankrupt daughter...and pretending all was well.

No, it ain't right, and ya know something? I think that deep down, somewhere - those two knew it too... and it was too late to do anything about it.

But whadda I know? Have a great Saturday!

Friday, 11 August 2017

Watch Out For The Fashion Police

They'll be out this weekend and you can bet police brutality is in the air. Socks n' sandals? Relaxed fit jearns? JFC - who knew?!?!? I suppose I better get with the program and get some tattoos - hopefully Jack is sober enough to run a dremel today? Probly should get an ear ring too - BW should be able to handle the drill press.

Gotta be Quartermain again. More Retard School
discipline problems!!!
I dunno what it is, but that damned kid just keeps getting in trouble with the law.
What did he do this time?
Tuck his pants into his socks?!?!
Beat the hell out of him, officer!!!

I guess I'll have to go down to the cop shop and bail him out again. I don't get it. It's like he wants to get caught! It's the third time this week! Last time he got busted it was because he was urinating in a back alley. Be advised fellas - apparently that is a crime now - so I guess we can forgive him for that one. But I'm told by childhood psychology experts that some kids thrive on negative attention.


Welp - off I go! You guys n' gals have a great weekend and mind your P's n' Q's.  Don't do anything I wouldn't do!

Every Girl's Crazy Bout A Sharp Dressed Man!

Apparently Pete Forester and WL got kilt last night - Pete by a falling anvil, and WL by a slow moving steam roller. The students are having a party to celebrate and even I have been invited. I haven't got the slightest idea of what to wear! My plaid flannel shirt is a little to formal and hot for this time of year, and pretty much all my other tee shirts are frayed and ratty and perfect for such things as weddings, graduations and such... but a little lack lustre for the occasion at hand. Would any of you ladies care to comment while I try some things on?

Nice. And perfect for those sun drenched summer days
at the RC air field...

This one is from the Russians who are hacking my blog 
and bank accounts. 
Rubber begonias, comrades!
It's made outta polyester which will make it easier to wash out
the vodka diluted vomit.

A schmeeb in a bathing suit? It might be a little risqué for a 
respectable straight arrow like me.

While we decide, how about some vintage videeyahs, big hair
and classic music?

I like the first two, but they're over 20 bucks each! GAH! Looks like I oughtta head on over to value village and do some dumpster diving! Rest assured, I will be at the party and looking dapper and dashing as usual!

It's Friday Night!!!  :)  :)  :)

Pete Is In A Tizzy...

... and clutching at his pearls, HAR HAR HAR!!!!

I shouldn't laugh at Pete; a lot of people are afraid of these drones but that fear is even less founded than that of an armed citizenry. I helpfully pooped in the comments to try and set Pete's mind at ease but I can imagine his state of mind. When we have to deal with 7th century savages in control of 21st century technology all kinds of devils and demons come to the fore - and can leave one gun shy and jumping at shadows.

The only real legitimate worry you have as a private citizen is invasion of privacy. And if you want to risk a $1500.00 drone to get pics of Wirecutter nude sun bathing in his back yard - that's on you. I hear he's a passable wing shot with a 12 bore so anything that happens to your investment is on you.

This thing is typical of the capability of most hobby drones.
To make one of these into a plane killer would require very, very special equipment - 
and even then a shoulder fired anti-aircraft missile would make far better sense.

Although my evil Minions would be pleased as punch at the thought of scaring a military man like Pete chitless - in the real world, they are harmless clowns and their ride is a harmless toy. 

Now - if we are talking about a battlefield deployment where all I need to know is where the bad guys are hiding and what kind of equipment they're packing... these may have limited merit. But other than that they are mere educational toys and the perfect fit for fathers and sons and maybe even mothers and daughters if they are so inclined.

Talk Shows

When we got our first house our in laws decided they wanted to live in the Park close to us and to their son in Aaaaadmontin – they were relocating back here from BC. While their new McMansion was being built – they lived with us. Living with in laws is tough even at the best of times and I spent a lot of my time trying to keep them at arm’s length and out of our affairs, and gritting my teeth at their intrusions and meddling. One of the things that set my teeth to grinding was coming home after work, and finding those assholes glued to my television – watching Orca Winfrey and Dr. Phil. Dear gawd – they thought that stunned bint walked on water and I can remember heading down to my shop and firing up my pipe or a smelly cigar in the house just to piss them off – while Orca prattled upstairs about her ‘vajayjay’ or some goddamned thing. Listening to them bitch about my smoking was preferable to listening to what Orca and her clot headed cnuts and sob sisters had to say.

People talk about how the media has recently cut it’s own throat but it goes back even further. I remember vowing as a young man, back in the 80’s, that if I ever met Phil Donahue I would spit in his eye. That idiot spent more time interviewing himself than his ‘guests’ or ‘experts’ and I quickly learned to change the channel or turn the damned TV off when he came on. The man was a non-stop insult to the intelligence just the same as Orca and Dr. Phil were. He was skilled at provoking people, interrupting them, and making them look like idiots as they fought to control their anger at his accusations and insinuations. He always demolished his 'guests' as they fought to be civil with him and he treated them like shit.

If you keep kicking, taunting, goading and tormenting a dog – he’s gonna get mean. Eventually he’s gonna turn around and bite your ass – and that has happened now several times with the media, where idiot “journalists” get spanked and everyone applauds.

Recently it was a fad for leftist morons to decry how 'uncivilized' things had become and point at firebrands like Glenn Beck and Rush Limbaugh as examples. Of course today's standards those guys are tame. I never saw much in them myself - sure, they're conservative like I am - but in away that is only leftist propaganda in reverse. Really - some of it was no better than the crap idiots like Phil Donahue shovelled by the metric tonne.
Recently I stumbled across the Z Man.
What a treat. It's all I can say. I don't do podcasts because too many of them are much like Beck or Limbaugh - sneering, angry and derisive and it instills the same mentality in me - and then all you have is a bunch of people with their danders up calling each other names, swapping memes and all the rest of the bullshit that goes along with it when people fight. But Z's stuff is worth the listen. He's an excellent speaker.
The Z Man has achieved a state of spiritual perfection when it comes to political issues; he addresses them objectively, calmly and rationally - with just a hint of snark and mild ridicule for people that deserve much, much more than that. When a man like that says that Hillary Clinton belongs in a just seems to carry more weight than when guys like Limbaugh or Filthie bay for her blood and want her burned alive at the stake.
He's got a podcast up now and it is highly recommended. If you want to listen to intelligent commentary in a day and age where it is almost impossible to find - the Z Man won't let you down.

Fall Blogger Hot Rod Show N' Shine...

At the tail end of every summer they have a hotrod show n' shine in the big church parking lot across the street. It's quite the big shindig - it's free, they bring in bands and DJ's and the owners turn the place into a temporary Thunder Road. Me and my fellow bloggers fully plan on attending this year too! It just wouldn't be fall without a shaker like that to mark the passing of the season!

Stackz O Mags is driving this pickle green little chick magnet. Only thing round 
that would be greener n' that would be General Patton's envy, HAR HAR HAR!

Hmpffff. BW seems to have gone steam-punk
this year.
I wouldn't get too close to that one if I were you...

And of course, the rest of us from Uncle Bob's School For Wayward Boys & Retards 
will be there too!

I've hardly turned a wheel on the motorcycle this year. I was either camping, out at the range or doing chores and I haven't had time except for a few short trips. Might head out tomorrow on a shortie to blow the carbon and cobwebs out of the engine. 

Whatever your ride is - shine 'er up and go for a burn and show her off! It's Friday! Take the weekend off and tell the boss I said it was okay.

Thursday, 10 August 2017

Interesting Evening On The Range

One of the problems a young man faces is the old dilemma - should I buy this toy now, or wait until I can afford it? When I was a young man, my young family made that choice for me and yannow what? They were probly right when they said 'no' all the time! HAR HAR HAR!!! I always wanted an M14 match rifle and finally bought one a couple years back. (And I bought many toys as a young man too, thanks to my beloved and long suffering wife).

The problems started right off the bat. I'm an old fart now and my eyes don't work like they used too (along with a number of other things, HARUMPFFFF!!! Who said that?!?!?) I have to go to a scope. The problem with that is that the M14 was not designed to be a scoped rifle. Iron sights and old eyes don't get along well.

No problem - I went online and placed an order with the boys at, Frank set me up with a standard CASM mount - which is the best scope mount going for the M14. I put a Swarovski 3x9 on that and figured I was away to the races.

The problem with that was that now the scope sat so high I couldn't get a proper cheek weld on the stock. No problem - I carved a cheek riser and wrapped it in leather to put my eye in line with the scope - and figgered I was away to the races.

Then I decided that if I am gonna scope it, might as well get 
a good scope on it and went to a Trijicon 5x25 with parallax and external windage and elevation

So now I have a fairly nice match gun, a fair to middlin' scope, a functional cheek riser and everything should be good! Right?

The problem is that my back doesn't work the way it did and when I sling up and curl up to shoot from the sitting position the scope sits too far forward for me to get the proper eye relief.

GAWDAMMITALLTOHELL!!! FFS!!!! When will this chit ever end????

Back on the phone to Frank at M14.CA, another 170 beans - and I have an special extended scope mount inbound that should relieve my eye relief problems and prevent me having to contort myself to make the shot.

I shoulda bought this gun 30 years ago! Back when my eyes were clear and bright, and my back and creaky old bones still worked! :) Having to fight my aging body makes it really hard for me to muster the focus that is needed for precision match shooting. It used to be so easy...sob...!

But - I'll get there. And when I do, empty brass will be bouncing off Mad Jack's head as he tries to shoot off the next bench over - and then he'll start missing like I do too! HAR HAR HAR!!!  :)

So I spent the night making an ass of myself on the range until the kids from the local SWAT team showed up. I razz them and coach them from time to time and they put up with my BS because they are kind to old farts and are really great kids men. They shoot silenced Rem 700 bolt guns with modular chassis systems and bipods and their guns sound like .22's with the silencers on. Silencers are illegal in Canada because liberals think they actually make the gun completely silent. If we could have silencers on our guns people wouldn't bitch about all the noise coming from gun ranges - but of course Canadian antigun morons and common sense are old enemies.

But I digress - after I stole their empty brass (I reload .308 and shoot it in my beloved M14) - they gave me some shells to try.

Sorry for the crappy cell pic...

Apparently they're Federal Tactical Something-Or-Others - for law enforcement only. Civvies can't buy these in Canada because the liberals are afraid old stubfarts like me will try to use them to knock over a liquor store or maybe put one through the mushy head of our idiot prime minister or something. ( that I think about it that second one doesn't sound half bad, HAR HAR HAR!!!)

Sorry for the crappy internet pic. It's all I can seem to get!
They've got that curious blue translucent blue tip, 168 grain boat tail bullet

Of course my only interest in them is as a target round. My bullet of choice is a 168 grain Hollow Point Boat Tail or HPBT - sitting on the classic load of 41.5 grains of H4895 gun powder. I will be curious to see if these are as accurate as my match loads.

Once I get my M14 set up the way I need it - I will let you know how I make out!