Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude

Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude
Where Great Intelligence Goes To Be Insulted

Monday, 31 July 2017

From The Lost Files On The Art Of Speed




When The World Was A Bigger Place





Imagine the excitement.
World famous author, adventurer and man about town -
WL Emery is on board with his expeditionary team.
Flying the aircraft is the shady and untrustworthy Captain Filthie. Mercenaries
BW Bandy and Wirecutter will provide for the security of the expedition with
their Mauser rifles and sharp hunting knives.
Rounding out the entourage will be a couple of buxom, flawlessly made up
bimbos. I see a couple red heads and a blonde.

Barak Obama and Al Sharpton are along to hump equipment and gear,
translate for the natives, and shine shoes.

The story writes itself...

The New Zodiac - Guess Which One I Am...



Welp, seems in the last little while the human race has re-invented itself.



Hells bells - lookit 'em all.
How do they reproduce?  And where does this lunacy end?
These look like Viking rhuniforms to me, or maybe
some kind of demented PID diagram


I guess they'll need a new zodiac too, what with all the new frooty colours of the rainbow enrichening our culture. Thankfully, it seems our cultural Marxists have that one well in hand too:

Guess which one I am. You should be able to get it in one.



From The "Things Ya Didn't Need To See" File





GAH! Gotta be Monday...
There is obscenity in this and no bones about it!

A Cottage Industry...?









Awhile back I wanted to buy some Knuckledraggin.com stickers from Wirecutter and had asked if there would be any problems getting them up to Canada. He was gonna look into it but then he tripped over his shadow and forgot about it and I got diverted by a squirrel. So it goes for old men with short attention spans.

But I could see this being a marketable product for the knuckle dragger: It's perfect: the victim gets the finger at the very least, but then he has to open it if he wants the money inside. I have been hard at work trying to figure out how to put a fart in an envelope but haven't come up with anything  yet.

I know it can be done because I've gotten a couple from Rachael Notley of the local NDP, a couple from our fwench poltroon of a prime minister - Turdo La Doo... and from that screeching whore, Hillary Clinton. (Those were the worst, I think there was egg in the last one. GAH....!).

In any event, have a good Monday - whether it starts with or without ya!


Sunday, 30 July 2017

Legio Ferrata


Looking sharp, Centurion! Carry on...!


I have a real problem with ancient Romans. Any time I see them portrayed on TV, 9 times outta 10 the actor speaks like some kippered Limey outta Liverpool or Rutchester.

"'Ere now, you lot! Form up and look sharp abatit!!!"

Here's something else for your Fun With Limeys Folder: Get any Limey you can to say the word: "pomegranate". It effs them up every time, they can't say it. You'll probly get something like 'poy-me-groonit' or some such balderdash. HAR HAR HAR!

Now if you'll excuse me, I'll turn to my hearty English breakfast: Faggots n' peas and maybe a bit of Spotted Dick...GAH! How did my ancestors eat this chit? And to think - the Scot (who is a close racial cousin of the Limey) - has even more disgusting feeding habits! Pish tosh!

Have a good Sunday!

Saturday, 29 July 2017

The Next Time Some Buggardly Black Baboon...

... starts pissin' and moanin' about how the ghettos are all Whitey's fault, and how they need better welfare programs and less racism to get ahead - show them this:



Poit!




Fake News






Will whoever's doing that please stop it?!?!? FFS - I got all cranked up n' happier n' a pig in the mud when I heard that Trump had tweeted something about what a fuggin idiot Turdo La Doo is. I was crushed when I heard it was fake news.


Bad Dog...





Oh wait! It's only an unloaded Glock! Play fetch, boy...?

No I DO NOT Want Any Fuggin Tamatahs...





Oh no. It's that time a year again. I don't like tomatoes, I don't want them
and I always end up with them...
This year I think I will take all that I can get, set them out on the step
to ripen - and then throw them at liberals, fwenchmen
and other vermin.

Friday, 28 July 2017

Filthie's Friday Game Show: Name The Secret Agent



A series of famous Hollywood Secret Agents appears below, each more confusing than the last with quotes that come from our Mystery Agent. Identify the mystery agent and win! Hint: the Mystery Agent is not Mad Jack, Quartermain or BW Bandy! Good luck!









You have 60 seconds!!!!




Friday Heavy Duty Boogie



Schadenfreude: Shot Through The Balls



A hundred years ago when The Crack was running my branch we were locked in a pitched power struggle. He was the branch manager and running the business into the ground. I was a sales guy trying to bring in business and expand sales. It got nasty and spread too - pretty soon the entire admin/clerical machine was after my blood but I was just making too much damned money for the company for them to let me go. Power plays and back stabbing started and some of it got outright ludicrous. The Crack and our head bean counter back east tried to set me up for going AWOL on vacation. Of course I keep my vacation requests and made the two look like morons by producing them and asking them why they didn't process them tell me that they would cause a problem. Another time they tried to get me set up for a harassment infraction - I was supposed to fill out an HR form promising never to get nasty with the little snowflakes again, and warned that I would be subject to dismissal and charges if I refused. I sent it (unsigned) to the CEO telling him I would resign if I was going to be hassled with this chit, and the reason I lost my temper with those morons was that they weren't doing their jobs and were jeopardizing our relationship with some very large clients. The matter 'went away' and the perps were read the riot act.

Long story short - I hacked The Crack's email so I could keep tabs on him and the crap he was pulling and who he was pulling it with! When he got in a dog fight with my customers I knew about it the second it happened. If he was setting a trap for me I either avoided it or I sprung it by pushing him into it! It was illegal as hell but hey - if you are going to cheat you can surely expect the other guy to as well. All of a sudden our customer satisfaction went sharply upward. Eventually the head office back east understood that The Crack was never going to be an effective manager and he was demoted.

I got to see a lot of his personal email too. He was on an internet dating site called Plenty Of Fish and one day Flapz and I were going through his matches. The Crack and I were in our early 50's at the time and what I saw was absolutely horrifying. The dating pool at our age is absolutely ghastly! The 'ladies' were all overweight. You could tell right over the internet why they were single and what screws were loose, if ya catch my drift. My gawd - these women were soooooo ugly! And us chads? We laughed like swine! "HAR HAR HAR!!! Lookit that one! Her ass is two axe handles wide!!! FNAH! FNAH! FNAH! NYUK NYUK NYUK! Woo woo woo woo!!!!"

We were yakking about this very subject on another blog the other day when I suddenly had a horrifying moment of clear thought:

I have become old and ugly too!

How do ya like them apples, Filthie? HAR HAR HAR! Worse: I have been ugly for a long, long time. All my hair fell out and more started growing in places it shouldn't. My back creaks and cracks and heavy piping and bolting tools that I used to throw around with impunity - well now I gotta think about how I handle them before I pick them up lest I break something! The day I have to ask for help with these things is the day I retire.

And before ya say it, you young little shits - no, working out and dieting and all that health crap won't do anything for ya at my age - you will still be ugly no matter how much weight ya lose only you'll live longer to be ugly!  :)   :) On a serious note, I thank my Maker for my wife and women like her, and pray that He keeps them looking as good as they always did.

I think old age is something God invented to get vengeance for all the rotten things ya did when you were younger! And I am pretty sure that the uglier ya are, the worse ya were as a youngster. You mouthy little turds are admonished to mind your manners - lest you end up looking like poor, poor Old Man Filthie.

Thursday, 27 July 2017

A Public Service Announcment Courtesy Of Your Friendly Neighborhood Feral Irishman


Dear lord.


Here's the vid. She can't believe it, but I can.
Here's a prediction for ya too: the guys behind this crap are pedos!
Ya heard it here first!


What a pretty young lady. I agree with everything she says too because she's absolutely right. There's some really shitty people out there that have designs on the kids and every day they get bolder and less covert about it. I predicted all this back in the 90's and caught supreme chit for it on the forums and talk boards of the day: letting the queers out of the closet was only the first step. The real goal of the progressive left is to get all the other perverts out there too - including the pedos. I will bet you dollars to donuts the people that produce that rag sheet will have closet pedos in their midst.

Rebelling is something all healthy kids do. They do it by finding something that drives Mom or Dad up the wall and then pounce on it. This is how the perverts are going to prey on your kids too: "Be a rebel! Don't let your bigoted, idiot parents define your sexuality! Be your own person!!!! Don't let anyone tell you what to do!!!"

I wonder if that pretty young mother isn't playing into the hands of the swine pushing this filth? This fag-mag is just the tip of the iceburg. People the kids admire and respect are pushing this crap at them every day. Hell, half the teachers these days are queers. If I had my way, perverts trying to corrupt our kids would be handled properly with a fair trial and punishment.


Unfortunately this kind of thing is out there and just another problem idiots are pushing at our kids. It might be a real good idea to sit down with your kids, confront this shite and talk about it in graphic detail

Wednesday, 26 July 2017





Darwin and Murphy will.

Constipational Humour...





Little help here...? There HAS to be an extremely rude and dirty joke
here but I just can't seem to see it...

Is Sanity Breaking Out...?



May it please the court:

Exhibit A


Exhibit B


I never had the slightest respect for Blowjob Bill Clinton (or his shrieking whore of a wife for that matter) - but one of the few things that tool got right was 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' when it came to queers in the military. The popular fiction is that they are just regular people that want to do sex a different way and be left alone. And every other day, some faggot or dyke is suing somebody for not baking them a cake, or laughing at them or telling rude jokes and so forth. But - ! Don't you DARE say anything about it, you hateful bigot!!!!

GAH. Queers are bad enough and most retired military men will tell you so - and state that sexual deviants have no place in the military. These pan/trans-gendered freaks are even more messed up than the queers are and it is obvious to anyone that has a triple digit IQ.

I don't think people that are mentally ill should be abused or mistreated... but I'm glad people are finally standing up to this bullshit - and I hope it continues.

Wedding Arrangements




As the disappointed father of a militant lesbian millennial 
snowflake,
a marriage like this doesn't look so bad, HAR HAR HAR!!!!


What a fugged up world. It's fine n' dandy for us to laugh at a pic like that, but then I'm supposed to be somber and serious about a couple a fuggin queers getting "married". GAH. As for these ladies, I would admonish them and remind them that guns come in colours now (even queers can find their preferred frooty colour of the rainbow). For the bride, I see a nicely appointed M25 in snow camo. For the bridesmaids - an elegant black AR15 would set them off and serve to highlight the bride.

Yannow, maybe I'll just turn this one over to A-house for a more scholarly treatise on the subject! I am clearly out of my depth here.

Tuesday, 25 July 2017

Fearless Part Deux





I think that driver was a graduate of Uncle Bob's School For Retards And Wayward Boys...

Fearless




Hmpffff. It's very cool and all but I wonder how much tactical merit this has in the real world. Batman and Robin are going to have to up their game...

Why Is That, Anyways?



My neighbour is a top flight tin basher and is a big wheel at a small local HVAC company. He did the duct work on my house when it was built 20 years ago.

We often banter back and forth over the fence and one day we were chatting about the trades - specifically, some local politico wank wanted the trades de-certified. After all, there is no real trade work around anymore, right? Your mechanic at the local garage will use a computer to diagnose your car. That's in addition to the self diagnostics your car's own microprocessor does. For HVAC, most houses made today are of a 'cookie cutter' design. You don't need to know all the ins-and-outs of tin bashing, all you gotta know is how to do the ductwork for a couple different house designs and you're good to go! Residential Electricians? Fah - you can probably wire your own house after reading a DIY book. Seriously. Instrumentation? Fah! Everything's microprocessor based! Pull the PC board and replace it and you're off to the races! The mechanical aspects of that trade are rudimentary.

My neighbour's objection was pretty much obvious: what happens to your HVAC installer when he runs into a new design - or an old one? What happens when he is put into a situation where he has to think his way through it? That is the difference between a tradesman and some de-certified installer. There was a small war to decertify the trades up here years ago and thank God it was won and over before the morons did it. Our trades people are still respected professionals as they should be.

It used to be the trades were guarantees of employment and something you could always 'fall back on' in tough times. They certainly aren't anymore; up here in Alberta we have a whole passle of unemployed tradesmen as well as professionals and technicals. We are all getting hit by the recession.

Oh well, we are Albertans, and the oilfield booms and busts. We survived the last ones, we will survive this one.

Monday, 24 July 2017

Today's Hateful Chubster Joke


Walk it off, Amy!
And before anyone accuses me of being hateful against fat people,
I weigh more n' Amy and that truck combined.
Fact is rude, hateful assholes like Stu The Jew 
claimed that I exerted my own gravitational field.
Sob....
I am forced to lean on my readers for emotional support.
This is now formally a Safe Place.

A Vehicular Hermaphrodite


Can we please confine the gender-fluid crap 
to the perverts and stupid people?
Is that thing a skidoo or a murdercycle?
I don't think even BW would ride it...

A Meme From the EnvironMINT


Demons Among Us



I like John C Wright. He has an interesting spiritual perspective on our problems with progressive liberalism, political correctness and all the BS that goes along with it. He makes a powerful case.

As a chit house Christian I am in no position to critique John or say he's wrong. The sins of liberals are what they are and if they're lucky they'll answer to God for them. At the rate they're going though, it's entirely possible that some day soon they will answer to us and pay for their sins in blood - forcing us to commit sins of our own. I dunno what the answer is to that either, all I know is sometimes you fight fire with fire and make whatever peace with your Maker as you can.

I don't think these people are demons, devils or otherwise. I think they are simply morons that are too stupid to think for themselves, or simply hucksters profiting from this idiocy. There is nothing satanic or unholy about them - they are just stupid, or mealy mouthed liars and manipulators. It's long past time to shut them down.

I think it's important for us to see them for what they are, and be honest about their real threat potential: it's in decline and getting closer to zero every day. Consider Trump: he got elected despite massive and frankly illegal resistance from the Democrat/Media Complex, the Donks themselves and their swamp critters embedded in DC, and the phoney conservatives (or cuckservatives, as they're called) in his own party. Back in the bad ol' days, feminsts, race whores, queers and other politically correct victim groups could have set any conservative they wanted on fire and run him out of town on a rail. Today, all of them working together - couldn't keep Trump out of the Oval Office. There's a massive demographic shift going on and I personally believe we have hit Peak Liberal Stupidity. The Donks can't buy a vote; the media slobs can't sell a newspaper and their TV and web based outlet ratings are diving. People revel about being deplorables as mock and deride the new 'genders' sexual perversions of the lunatic left. Trump has focused a steady stream of ridicule and derisive laughter at them - and they are drying up and blowing away like so much old dog chit. HAR HAR HAR!

The reason for this is that liberals and progs can only divide and destroy families and communities. They can't build them on their own. They can't even preserve the ones they inherit. Like it or not in the next couple years, these wretched people are pretty much headed into the trash can of history. How many harried, unhappy single moms do ya gotta see? How many derelict divorced dads? How many thumb-sucking millennial snowflakes that can't grow up? Good riddance to the lot of them! Even up here in Canada - our idiot prime minister has become a laughingstalk and a role model for fwench poltroons everywhere! In the next election, Turdo La Doo will be kicked to the curb the same way Obama and Hillary were.

These guys and their gender fluid freakshows are the past. We need to look ahead, and stop wasting time on these freak shows and their ring masters. It's time to write off old baggage, take out the trash and de-clutter... and start fresh.

Our future is in front of us. Have a great Tuesday.

Gun Fails: How Many Have You Done?






Hmmmm. How many of these have happened to you?

I had a curious moose spoil my trip round the blackpowder trail at my rod n' gun club. We have a trail with metal animal silhouettes set up at various points on it - and the swamp donkey followed me round that trail like a puppy dog. Several times he got between me and the target and I couldn't shoot.

No, never had my pants drop when I've pulled the trigger (although you would be correct to suspect it). But - as our foul mouthed friends in the USFMC like to say, I have 'flown Maggie's drawers' on several occasions.

I've done that one where the damned mag dumps itself when ya least expect it. And - I wasn't doing any runnin' and gunnin' either, I sometimes do it on the slow fire bullseye shoots where I've had all the time in the world to do it right! That's not dangerous but it IS embarrassing and an indicator that some kind of corporal punishment is needed, HAR HAR HAR!

And I did that last one where the guy says, " I just effin shot myself". Only difference was that I shat myself - but that's something that happens on a daily basis. And when it does, everyone else hobbles around retching and gagging and weeping in pain.

On a serious note: giving a kid or a petite woman a powerhouse canon to hurt her or himself with is just plain mean and stupid. It's not funny either - we need those people to have a positive experience and make them want to take part in the sport.

When The World Was Larger


Ayup


Restless



Warren and Diane are moving.

They've lived two doors down from us for the last 17 years. Where did the time go? When she was small, their daughter used to fawn and coo over our dogs. Pandemonium broke out over there when they bought two Jack Russell Terriers years ago. Warren is a big wheel at the church in that he walks that Christian walk all the way. Apparently they do missionary work down on Whyte Ave which is where street kids from broken homes usually wind up and get hooked on drugs and prostitution and  petty crime. Apparently they've made some spectacular saves there too.

He worked for the City Of Aaaaadmontin and she worked at the bakery around the corner in Sobeys. I watched them and their antics, and their kids for 17 years. They weren't a focus for me or anything, but they are part of that background noise that sets up in life, and they made a certain sound that you take for granted and pretty much ignore - until it's gone, then ya REALLY notice it!

Warren retired, his wife quit the bakery and they're moving back to her family out in Nova Scotia on the other side of the country. Apparently Diane's mother is 91.We said our good-byes last night and I asked Warren how he could do that - just cast 17 years of roots and moss aside - and head out? He has no fear, he was happy to see his wife home among her kin, and he said that if it didn't work they could always come back. Apparently he can make a home and a life wherever he damn well pleases - and I believe him.

And I envy him too.

After saying goodbye last night we went in the house for the night and I looked at myself in the mirror. A fat, bald old fart looked back and we measured each other up. Our own family is broke up and scattered on the winds. My daughter is a homosexual drama queen and militant social justice warrior being a gay artiste out in Vancouver somewhere. Horrible to say, but I really don't want to see her again. My own in-laws had a part in that and undermined me as a father and as a husband. They aren't welcome in my home and family and we haven't seen those a-holes in two years now either. My folks are still around but we keep each other at arm's length. I'm worried sick about my job - the economy is bad enough, but our management seems hellbent of destroying my branch in Alberta.

On the plus side - my wife and I survived some very, very rocky times that usually split most couples these days. We have no debt, some savings and although we can't retire - we don't have to let our employers give us ulcers or heart problems. We have two good vehicles, a camper and a nice motorcycle. We certainly aren't rich... but we're free. But all my life, I've been so damn focused on paying the bills, keeping up with the Joneses, and keeping the bosses happy... and that in addition to trying to keep a family together that was going slowly insane. I've got all my toys now, and can keep as busy as I want to be in the leisure hours. If I get laid off I am going either camping or on a motorcycle road trip.

There is nothing holding us here. And yet I feel the weight of shackles and chains even though I can't see them. Sometimes the grass IS greener on the other side of the fence.

Well isn't THAT just a fine Monday? Early in the morning, and the rotten wood between my ears is already beginning to smolder! You have a great Monday - as for me, I have some thinking to do.

Sunday, 23 July 2017

The Filthie Critic



I am just learning my way around Amazon and Kindle. I have decided to start reading again. Last time I was on Kobo and I think that's a Canadian company because unless you're a chick or a faggot the reading lists are utterly dismal. I'm serious - all the genres are infested with lecturing social justice wankers that make sure all the characters have the right multicultural backgrounds, and that at least a couple scenes include graphic homosexuality and explicit detail. I can do without the fudge packing, the canoe licking and the scolding, boring plots with powerful women that come across as nags and bitches. It never occurred to me to leave a review of those books I got ripped off on and given the antics of the Hollyweird/Arts n' Lit crowd these days maybe I shoulda.

Mind you that could backfire; Brig over at Borepatch got a crappy review and apparently she's a little bummed out about it.https://borepatch.blogspot.ca/2017/07/theres-no-terminex-for-trolls.html Poor kid. But - it's a fact of life, I guess. I personally won't write a negative review on a book, because a given work may stink to high heaven for me - but one a you fellas might think it's just fine.

I will write a positive review and left one on Murder One by WL Emery. Amazon has a gizmo where you can give however many stars ya want depending on how good it was so I gave WL all five of 'em.

I think he has another one I might grab, and I fully intend to rake the other blog authors over the coals eventually too. I fully intend to be the biggest prick about it too! WL got lucky (this time) but The Bayou Rennaissance Man and the Old NFO are up next. How will they fare against the worst internet troll and literary art critic of all time? I will let you know! HAR HAR HAR....errrr.... BWA HAH HAH HAH HAAAAAH!!!!!

It's weird to have actual new, entertaining material to read again. I am glad somebody is doing something about the drought that politically correct publishing companies have made.

Road Rage



Yesterday on the way home from the rod n' gun club I noticed Mrs. Mallard trying to get across the highway with about 5 ducklings behind her. I am a sportsman and a conservationist so of course - I applied the brakes to slow down and give her time to cross. I looked in the rearview - and noticed a fat old grey haired bitch right off my bumper with her gums flapping at 1000 MPH - and she set up to pass - right over momma Mallard and her little family.

I know people are assholes, and in her defense maybe she didn't see the critters - but all the same... where I was pulling over and gently breaking before, welp - I swerved out and hugged that centre line and STOOD on the brakes - watching that cnut in the mirror the whole time. Mrs. Mallard and her ducklings barely made it across my lane.

And got run over by an 18 wheeler going the other way. Guy didn't even slow down.

I dunno why but that just hit me wrong and left me numb. The fat old bitch passed me and I got The Bird and her mouth was running even faster and I barely noticed. I sped up to 60 MPH, set the cruise and watched that fat old bitch floor it over the next hill. She got into it again further up the road with another driver when the two lanes merged into one and we almost had another pile up as neither would give way.

These people vote. They breed. They get driver's licenses, jobs in positions of responsibility and authority and handle power tools.

And they tell me that private citizens shouldn't have guns. I will be keeping my guns thanks. If I can back up and avoid such people I will - it's a free country and a big one. I don't have to share oxygen with assholes, and there are mallard ducks that will breed and survive and have the next year's clutch of ducklings.

But lord help these people if they ever back me up and I feel that wall or corner at my back.


Saturday, 22 July 2017

When They Were Queens



I am a chauvinist and a patriarch all the way through. I think there are things women shouldn't do and combat is one of them. They don't have the stamina, their joints won't take the punishment and we've seen what hard combat can do to strong men - to willingly put women into a role like that is an act of sheer folly and stupidity that is going to cost lives.

HOWEVER

If the bad guys get past us - I would love like hell for them to be greeted by our women like this. Further - the friggin feminists bitch and piss and moan about eeeeeevil men and the awful gun lobby - and if any of those clucky bints had any brains at all they would be behind concealed carry 100%! Rapists should get justice right at the crime scene.

If you're a lady - proficient gun skills may not be part of the feminine arts but they should be something you master all the same. You owe it to yourself, your family and your man.

When We Were Kings




That's a Big Wheel - after my time. I had an old fashioned steel trike that I preferred to the cheap plastic of the Big Wheels and managed to kill myself on it several times.

Minimum Wage


When I was a kid I flipped burgers at Rotten Ronnie's for $3.25/hour.

The real minimum wage is $0.00 and no bones about it. I just wonder how these people honestly think? Consider: every day low skill/low IQ Africans and Moslems are coming in by the boat load. Mexicans are swarming over the border and are even showing up here in Canada now. And of course, because everyone knows that women can do everything a man can (only better) - we now have a massively glutted labour pool. What do they think that will do to wages?

Oh well. The market always wins, and the forces driving them will not be decided by some idiot politician with a pen.

The Gender Spectrum Simplified


It has to be an inside joke. I have experience with queers and good lord - their sexuality is one thing but the other behaviours that go along with it? Even basement dwelling chit house rats make more sense.

When my daughter was growing up there was no shortage of teachers that said she was mentally defective and needed drugs and counselling and warm fuzziness. To me it looked like a disciplinary problem. I tried the time outs and soft punishments and the kid just snoozed and kept doing the behaviours that got her in trouble. Finally after dozens of notes from the teacher I beat her ass and mysteriously - all her behavioural problems disappeared.

Her marks sucked of course (due to learning problems. The pooch screwing public educators were sure of it). So - I didn't home school my daughter but I tutored her. She was failing grade 7 math and by the end of the years she had honors. Not only that, I had her started on grade 10 algebra and by the time she hit grade 10 she could do elementary calculus. She was a full blown honour student and I was so proud.

So proud.

Today of course she is a gay hipster that copped out on life as soon as she got out of the house. I wonder now if maybe those teachers were right and I was wrong? I thought her problems were self induced and a product of normal childish rebellion and that traditional methods would take care of that as it had with me and my friends when we were kids.

Who knows. Do you feed a child's demons, or try to exorcise them? Either way, they are in for a rocky ride and I just don't have the wisdom to make that call. I know for a fact our idiot public educators don't either.

All you can do with your kids is your best, I suppose.

Have a good Saturday.

Friday, 21 July 2017

The Perfect Martini



I am hopping mad at Mad Jack! Lookit how he pooped in the comments of my scientific hate graph post! A matini? A martini?!?!? Who does he think he is??? WL Emery?


Welp. Some people shoot Glocks and some fellas drink....martinis.

I would like to get snobbish and sophisticated about the dram of Black Bull I am having before bed, but why bother? Everyone knows I will drink whatever's in the jerry can or radiator - and I've been known to siphon the old style photocopiers back in the good old days, HAR HAR HAR! 

BEEEEELCH!!!!

It's Friday night, the dogs are walked, tomorrow's ammo's been made and if you are having a martini so be it - you're allowed and you earned it! I will just leave this helpful tip on making the perfect martini - and then hit the hay. As always - thanks for stopping by!



For The Last 8 Years...

... I've been trying to replace my 'go-to' rifle.

Sure, I had AR's n' .22's and a couple blackpowder guns, but MY gun - the one I use when the stubfarts at the range get lippy and unruly and need to be humiliated to restore their manners - was a heavy barrelled Ruger No.1 in .25-06. That thing would shoot .5 ~.75 MOA all day long and I shot that gun like crazy for 15 years. All the gun club duffers would start sucking up and being nice and try to buy it off me, but I rudely told them all to get stuffed! I was the king of the riflemen on my range, and I wasn't going to take any guff from the peons and peasantry!!!

And one day - I noticed my groups started to open up. I was at the peak of my game back then and trusted my marksmanship. In horror, I dug out the chronograph and noticed my velocities dropping off too. Over then next couple months it was too horrible to contemplate but it was true: I had burned the throat out on the barrel. That gun would never shoot like it used to again.

All my arch enemies came crawling out of the woodwork to mock and slander me as I fell from gun-club grace. Suddenly, cretins like Flapz, Chains, Old Jim, Ian and that fuggin paki guy could wipe the matt with me using their precision bolt guns. I had become a peon.

Oh sure, I could try and re-barrel the old No.1 or build a precision bolt gun - but that's a crap shoot. I started buying and selling guns, looking for something new to challenge me. One day Clay at Prophet River ordered me in a Springfield M1A - the civvie equivalent to the M14 Garand rifle used by the US militaries back in the 50's and 60's. I got the Match Rifle version. I loved the gun, but they aren't meant to be shot with scopes. It's easy-peasy to put a scope on one if all you do is shoot from the bench... but I sling up and shoot from the formal marksman positions and sometimes even off my hind feet. I dicked around with my M1A trying to make it 'user friendly' for a serious rifleman and marksman. I bought and threw out my first scope mount. I found some guy on the internet that made The Mother Of All M14 scope mounts and thought I was good to go - but scopes sit so high on M1A's that ya need to get a cheek riser to use them. I could only get crappy junky cheapo risers here in Canada - so I said screw it and made my own out of leather. Then I threw an expensive Swarovski 3x9 on it and just couldn't get that damn gun to fit me for love or money. Over the last years I diddled with it and finally lost my temper about a month ago. I was either going to get this damned thing shooting and fitting me properly,  or I was going to build a custom AR15 target gun in 6.5mm Grendel.

Finally...finally I think I got 'er all figgered out!

That's a Trijicon 5x25 variable with a simple 4 plex reticle.


This is a serious, expensive piece of glass. (Actually it isn't, I suppose. I paid $1800.00 for it installed but a similar Nighforce is $3600 and the Steiners get up there too). Putting a better scope than this on an M1A starts to take on a 'polishing turd' aspect.



That's the cheek riser I made for it on the back. It has a couple 
maple leaf and buffalo conchos on it
and it kinda has an RCMP-ish air about it.
Not sure I like the looks of it - but it works.


I had the geezer at P&D mount the scope because they true everything up, prep and square the bases and they only charge $40.00 for it. I could do all that myself but I don't want to buy the tools and spend the time with it. Usually they set the scopes up so that they are at least on the paper at 100 yards.  Not this time - when I went out to formally sight it in - it must have been hitting at least a couple feet high. Usually I can sight in with ten rounds, and six of those are just a formality. This time I burned up 25. I've never had that happen with scopes mounted by P&D before.



Those are my last three off a rudimentary rest. Then I found one last shell rolling around in my shooting bag and sent it at the 6" 100m gong off hand and made it ring like a bell! The gun gave me a gentle push and rolled up just like my beloved old No. 1 used to.

The King has returned - and He's madder than hell! My arch enemies are all in for a very, very rude surprise at the next match! HAR HAR HAR!!!!

Have a great weekend guys - we'll see ya on the range! No rude jokes at my expense will be tolerated!!!

Thursday, 20 July 2017

Vagining Out With The CTV



BAWK BAWK BAWK!




I made it one minute and change - and then had to shut it off! It was that, or cut my wrists. I ain't lyin' - I can remember hearing girls talk like that as far back as grade 7 ... and thinking they were idiots then too! I've heard my Mother talk like that and she's in her 60's. Do women ever grow up?

For you boys - sorry ya had to see that. Here is something worthwhile to watch. Used to be you could get quality programming like that on CTV too. But the world's moved on, and I'm none to sorry to watch it go, sometimes. Let's drink some beer and burn some meat, fellas:



Today's Rule 5 Violation




I just got 30 days for this
veritable feast for the eyes.
There is no justice.

In Another Couple Months It Will Be The Moose And Deer



Welp - can't do much about the moose and deer doing it..
But these cheeky fish?
I am off to Jack's to pick up a 1 lb. can of IMR4350 gun powder,
a fuse, and a lighter...

Trans-Gender Bathroom Follies: The Mummy




Who woulda thunk a corpse could stagger into a stall and take a dump?
Imagine the stink...!

Wednesday, 19 July 2017

Glen Filthie's Planet Of The Apes






Hey, if it works as a musical it should fly as a porn too!
Have a good Thursday - and we'll see you at the theatre
Studio 82 tonight!

The Hate Graph - Check It Out, It Works!





Hmpffff - people that drink Whisky, Beer and Wine are only mildly hateful of others. BW, Mad Jack and Yours truly are all mild mannered gentlemen and cool headed, by and large. So far this graph is 100% accurate. And lookit - gin drinkers are REALLY hateful of others just like world famous adventurer, explorer, and man about town - WL Emery. What does Pete Forester drink? I see him as a white rum drinker, based on this scientific chart.

In other news, I discovered that Fat Al Gore is absolutely right about warble gloaming, and that we are all gonna die if you don't give us all your money.

Hammy Hampster And Matty Mouse Go Bye-Bye



It's a good thing they don't sell these things to civilians. I'm serious: I would LOVE a box of these. I would go down to the dump and throw them at the junked cars and mounds of rubbish just to watch it fly! Just think of the practical jokes: pull the pin, drop it in the boss's desk - and feign innocence when he comes in the next morning to find his desk reduced to flinders! Hell - I would set one off in MY desk too!

Some Final Advice On The Gun Thing



So. Congratulations! You’ve taken my scholarly advice and bought yourself a mid grade AR15 (or better) and a …. A G…. a Gl…..GAH! You bought one of these:








Ick. Ptheh! I can’t even bring myself to say it’s name!!!
Never the less one a these in a standard service
configuration is probably the best ways to get started.



So? You’ve probably hit the range and done the PEW! PEW! PEW! thing. You had a ball, right? Even though ya missed a few? That is awesome. You’ve probably developed a few concerns too. If you’re like me and pretty much everyone else, you’d love to spend more time shooting… but the cost is prohibitive! Last I looked, bargain bin .223 was around $30.00 for 50 shells. When you start blamming , 50 rounds doesn’t go far, does it? If the wife and kid are out with you, you can be out of shells in 20 minutes. Ditto for the pistol. What does factory 9mm hardball run these days? I know it is pretty easy to pay out $35.00 for a carton of 50 .45ACP shells, and over $40.00 for .45 Colt.


Basic reloading is easy and safe.
Kids are good at it if ya watch 'em.




So now you’re at a crossroads. You like shooting, you’d do more if you could afford it because you want to shoot better too. But – the damned cost! How does a guy do it when he has a budget, a family, and all the other BS that goes along with being a father?



The answer is simple and straightforward: you have to reload! Good shooting is a function of trigger time and good instruction and building good habits. There are no shortcuts. Reloading intimidates people and especially the new shooters and it really shouldn't. You see big manuals and write ups that can gobble pages and hours as gas bags lecture and hector and bore you to tears with meaningless details! I know because I have been right where you are – about 35 years ago. Then there’s the goofs warning you that “you’ll blow yourself up doing that!”

The truth of it is that the ‘hold my beer and watch this’ crowd HAVE blown themselves up. It can happen but it takes almost criminal and deliberate negligence to do it. In real life I can have you loading your own shells in an our or less. Your ammo will be serviceable, reliable and well made. But after that? Depending on how anal you get – you can spend your next 40 years trying to develop ‘the perfect load’.

You have to decide what shooter you want to be. Kim du Toit is THE definition of The American Rifleman. He generally shoots curios, rack grade milsurps, surplus and service ammo and generally gets by well with them. By all accounts he’s a respectable shot and any hobgoblins intent on doing him harm are probably in for a nasty surprise. That guy’s a patriot and a rifleman in every sense of the word.

There is no room for snobbery in this sport. But – do you want to go beyond that? Reloading your ammo allows you to do that by tailoring your ammo to the rifle or pistol in your hands – and saving you $$$ in the process. Before you get another gun – buy the reloader. Yes you can save money by buying dies and presses second hand but there’s a rule about that too. If the seller is an old geezer that looks like he has health problems – he probably is, and that is the only reason he’s selling his stuff. You pay a man like that his asking price and you DON’T dicker. Congrats, you’ve done a good deed both for him and yourself – a deed worthy of a Marksman. Another rule of thumb about geezers and range etiquette: when they come by and start boring you to death with their bullshit hunting stories, you listen respectfully as long as you can, and only break off when you can do so courteously. A lot of those guys are old and lonely and ‘there but for the grace of God go I' applies. A lot of times those guys will drop some great tips along with the spewage. Treat them well. Honour is a gift you give yourself.


That's 20 consecutive shots, 25 yards, offhand
with a .45ACP, all in the black.
Think it's easy? After several years away from
pistols I got back in the game a couple years ago.
This is the first time I have been able to do it!
It's harder than it looks.
Sadly, I will never be a marksman, they can do this all day long.
I am betrayed by age and old eyes.




Final advice? Welp – the best shooters in the world are the United States Green Bean Fuggin Marines with their M16’S! (Otherwise known as the USFMC). Those guys live with their rifles day in and day out and a lot of ‘em are renowned pistoleers too. For the best in rifle instruction, I recommend reading "Sight Alignment,  Trigger Control & The Big Lie" by Master Sgt. Jim Owens. His book is on Amazon, and I think his website is jarheadtop.com or something like that. Your scores WILL improve merely from reading the book and taking his advice.


If you think you can 'fight your way to your rifle' through a
guy like this, you are in for a whole WORLD of hurt.
If he had an interest in coming between you and your rifle you
WILL get the worst of it.


Read anything you can lay your hands on by Colonel Jeff Cooper – he wrote for almost all the gun rags, he pretty much invented the sport of IPSC, and he will open your eyes to what a man skilled in pistolcraft can actually do. One of the worst things you will hear from gunny scribblerians is that ‘the handgun is for fighting your way to your rifle…’. If you learn to use the pistol to it’s full potential, in most close tactical situations you won’t need that rifle because you’ll have potted the bad guy(s) with the pistol! Cooper stresses mindset and practicality in his shooting and is a wonderful recounteur as well.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with being a Rifleman (or a Riflewoman). Keeping the sport casual and fun is what it’s all about. As for me, I hope you decide to go to the next step and get into the sport all the way. The discipline it instills is good for the soul and the psych, and there is a camaraderie and fellowship that go with the sport that are their own rewards.

Now if anyone needs me – I’ll be stinking out the range with my marksmanship! See ya out there.