Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude

Filthie's Mobile Fortress Of Solitude
Old World Solutions To New Age Sewage Problems

Wednesday, 30 March 2016

Progress

For the newcomers - awhile back I had to be the first kid on the block to own one of these:


 
That's the new Ruger Redhawk that can do both .45 Long Colt and .45 ACP in moon clips.
 
 
It's been a struggle too. I've got about 600~800 rounds down the pipe on this pup and she does not like patty-cake target loads. My experience so far is you have to bark them up into the mid-range before she'll start to sing for her supper. That's all minor - a matter of tweaking loads until you find out what she likes to eat.
 
The big problem I have is...myself. My days of shooting bargain basement guns is long behind me. All my other pistols are slicked up with action and trigger jobs and shooting them well is pretty easy. This Ruger - like all Rugers right out of the box - has a heavy trigger pull that goes like 8 miles down a mud and gravel oil lease road! You really have to concentrate and work your way through it - and following through with a pull like that is...challenging.
 
I'm not bitching, mind. I love the gun and may just keep shooting it bone stock as is! This gun is a pile of fun just as she is! Today I shot this one over a stolen lunch hour:
 
 
 
25 yards, off my hind feet, slow fire. 17.5 grains of IMR4227 under a 250 gr. lead SWC. Not a scorching load - but about as fast as I want to push bulk bin chit house lead bullets.
 
I know - not that impressive...but compared to the way I was shooting before? This is something to drink to! I am going to break one of my iron-clad personal rules and pour a drink of scotch on a weeknight. Actually it will be a dollop of Gibson's - why waste the good stuff on a trivial victory like this?
 
When I first started shooting in the late 70's all the cool kids were revolver men. I wish I still had the old gun magazines where Skeeter Skelton, Bill Jordan and Elmer Keith wrote their screeds on good pistolcraft. I suppose it dates me - but they were still alive and writing when I got into it. About the only gun geek worth a hill of beans that favoured the auto was my other hero, Jeff Cooper. Dammit - he's gone now too!
 
I am going to take some liberties here - and presuppose to speak for the departed icons of my wasted youth: if they were alive today, they would tell all young, aspiring shooters that they should have at least one revolver in their pistol collection - and that the .45 Long Colt should be one of the calibres they consider for it. There's better calibres for certain applications - but for versatility only a few outshine the .45 Long Colt. If you haven't shot one yet - that is a mistake you need to rectify as soon as possible.
 
Progress with the new wheelgun continues apace. We'll keep ya posted.


Pull My Other Finger, Chickie...

It has bells on it! HAR HAR HAR!

 
Donald Trump's goons throw a female reporter to the ground. She almost lost her arm!!!

Apparently this bimbo is suing Trumps security goons for second degree unnecessary political rally brutality, LOL. And of course everyone knows it's a hoax and slagging her for being a cunned stunt. One look at any of the viral vids and all the judge will do is grunt with disgust, fart - and close the case. Why would anyone even bother with it at all?

Even a rocket surgeon and mall ninja like me can tell you: it's all a PR gag. Trump looks like a hero to me and my fellow right wing kadiddlehoppers, alt right wieners, and molon labia chanting gun nutz. The lady gets a massive ratings boost at whatever liberal shit rag she works for and I hear she has a book coming out soon too. All this hype will serve to induce stupid people to buy it. It's a win for everyone!

Right?

Me? I'm not good with this. If you're going to stick handle me the least you can do is try and do a good job of it. One of my techs is a former retired bank manager and today he works for me as a form of entertainment and a source of income for his sordid and unusual hobbies. I was griping that it is a sinful waste of taxpayer funds - can't the average joe see this as well?

"Of course not, Filthie," Brent says. "20 years ago? No politician or journalist worth his salt would be caught dead pulling a stunt like this. Any reporter pulling crap like that would have been fired. Look at those anti-Trump rioters...do you think that stuff would have happened in Ronald Reagan's day, Glenn?"

I hate Brent. He's smarter than I am and we often disagree.  Even so he very seldom wins any debates with me and I know I piss him off too. Funny because we get along at work and ride motorcycles together but we still fight most of the time. This must be what it's like to be a Grumpy Old Man. But I digress. "What are you trying to get at you old fart? If you have a point will you kindly make it?"

"I woulda thunk it was obvious," he said. "But unfortunately YOU may be part of this emerging problem: the North American average IQ is diving. I read the other day that it may have dived by as much as two SD units since the 1880's...".

If that's true...and it is beginning to seriously look like it...HOLY CRAP.

It makes a kind of sense. I've read somewhere the average black IQ is 85. Mohammed Ali scored out at 79 which is mild mental retardation by standards and stats for white people. "So that might explain the anti-Trump riots too. The people involved in that are so goddamned stupid they don't realize they are pissing on their own first amendment rights - and are too dumb to realize that if they legitimize violence as part of the election process ... the other guy will eventually do it too. Hmmmm...". And every day, we import more low skill/low IQ foreign morons by the boat load - and they all vote liberal or democrat. That has to be impacting the national IQ's big time.

"Exactly," Brent said, as he wiped his greasy hands on a rag. That in turn started me thinking about other things too, like what's happening right here in Canada. (Yeah, I know, when Filthie starts thinking - you can smell the rotten wood burning down Copperhead Road...) - but consider. Recently, our idiot prime minister authorized the sale of all of Canada's gold reserves. So - when the financial Armageddon comes (and it will, it's only a matter of time and the historical precedents for such meltdowns are matters of public record) - we have nothing to back up our paper currency. What kind of idiot does something like that? The other day Neil at Golden Geese News posted the vid about Canada's new banking regulations that allow banks to scalp their depositors to fund their financial shortfalls resulting from other systemic and endemic bad lending practices. What kind of idiot does that?

And finally, the most damning question: what kind of idiot lets them get away with it?

Long live The Idiocracy!

Tuesday, 29 March 2016

Already Done, Sir!

The writing is on the wall. Neil can see it as can PP over at the Small Hold and anyone with a triple digit IQ. Recently, Pierre Elliot Trudeau's whoreson, Justin - and his liberal slobs running the gubbermint - sold off all Canada's gold reserves.

Look, I'm not an economist. I am not a financial wizard. But from where I'm sitting, if a country doesn't have gold or coin or tangible sources of wealth - all they have is IOU's. Justin and his liberals and many other countries have been allowed to trade on those for decades now and this financial version of musical chairs only has one ending.

The maker of the vid says that Canada was lucky in avoiding the major downturn back in '08. He is incorrect in that - Canada was astute and savvy - our finance Minister was a grown, responsible adult (unlike the current man-child we have as a prime minister now) - and he refused to allow the banking practices that have led other countries to melt downs like this.

I don't know how many people I see bitching and moaning about the banks. They piss an moan about 'banksters'. They're unproductive, unintelligent louts that shout 'Eat the rich! They can afford it!' And they will eat lead and shit before taking any responsibility for their own financial straights: their credit cards are maxxed, they live in houses they can't afford, and they spend money they haven't got and expect others to pick up the bill. They think that if we let the banks implode, all their debt will magically disappear! I have news for such people: shut up already. You're friggin idiots - that is why you are in financial problems to begin with! You're children with a credit card! If those banks fall you can bet we will fall with them. I have no problem for the financially illiterate and stupid people getting what they deserve...but the rest of us that have saved and prepared will take a hit too.

In the future I suspect that at the micro level, we are going to see the rise of the black market and alternate currencies like barter - they are already alive and well in Cyprus and growing as we speak.


And YOU can go screw yourselves, liberals - if you think I am going to let you leech off me to feed you and your parasites.


Interesting times will be along sooner rather than later. The only thing I would add to Neil's scholarly post is this - clean out your safety deposit boxes too. Unfortunately the computer has given the gubbermint a massive advantage against those that are hiding their assets. Keep that in mind as you prepare.

Monday, 28 March 2016

Filthie's BBQ Symposium

What? Why are y'all so squeamish about me putting the BBQ next to the Thunderbox, folks? Sheesh - to me it makes perfect sense! A fella can pig out on wholesome BBQ meats and foods and then when he's feeling kind a Texan - why, the Thunderbox is right underneath ya! Multitasking - thy name is Filthie!

Last year I bought one of these:

 
A Traeger grill... a sensible little smokehouse for the backyard enthusiast...
 
 
Although what I really wanted was one of these:

 
Fuggin Stackz beat me to the cashier and scooped it on me. He's a little younger and faster than old man Filthie...probably a better shot too! Er...almost certainly a better shot, dammit.


I've had the Traeger pellet BBQ for a year now and still don't know what to think of it. I hate propane BBQ's the same way a black powder geek hates smokeless cartridge guns. I like the ritual of dousing the briquettes in lighter fluid, lighting them off - and drinking beer and BSing while they slowly turn grey - and then burning meat when the coals are up to temperature. I am in hog heaven when cooking steaks over a fire pit.

Don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with the Traeger because it's even more convenient than propane. Ya throw your meat on the grill and close the lid - and only open it up again when it is time to come off. It does a superb job, it's convenient as hell...but I am somehow disappointed.

If any of my fellow BBQ professionals have any experience with one of these - could ya let me know what ya think?

 
It's called (funnily enough), 'The Egg'. It seems to run on charcoal but is of some odd ceramic construction...

In any event - I'm off to see if spring is here yet. Sure, the geese are back, and I saw a bumble bee...but we've had snow in June round these parts. I don't trust that Jack Frost is gone for good until the ice comes off the lakes.

It's definitely warm enough for BBQ though!

Helpful Addendum:

In Which I Take Jim Into The Boards

Jim and I are fencing on the Jian Ghomeshi rape case.

I love Jim's blog. Nothing is sacred there. Idiocy and genius thrives, much as it does at Uncle Bob's Treehouse! (And here, from time to time). Don't get attached to any sacred cows around those guys, HAR HAR HAR!

The Manosphere is all a-flitter about the verdict in the Jian Ghomeshi case. Long story short, for those of you unfamiliar with the affair: Loud mouthed, pro-feminist liberal f-knuckle, Jian Ghomeshi, scandalised what little there is of Canadian celebrity culture when some gold digging harlots came crawling out of the woodwork to accuse him of rape. Apparently this mudflap treats his women poorly (he's from Iran, and I yam shocked - SHOCKED, I tells ya) - and apparently he supposedly roughed them up during sex.

So many liberal sacred sexual cows got sacrificed in this gong-show - that all I can do is laugh like a loon. He's a moderately popular token vibrant for the liberals - so he can do no wrong! He's a feminist which makes him even more pure of heart and soul. And - he beats the hell out of women when he's in the sack with them, and then throws them away like so much gutter trash blowing down the slimy back alleys of inner-city Toronto! Aaaaand of course, when the gold diggers and groupies had their day in court - the verdict came back: not guilty. They couldn't prove anything they said. The feminists went ape chit, the liberals have to either put up or shut up, and the vibrant community in all the frooty colours of the rainbow are in an uproar! HAR HAR HAR!

 
Well girls, if you're going to get in bed with a creepy mudflap like this - you deserve what you get. When are women going to take some responsibility for themselves and their safety?

The denizens of the Manosphere are pleased as punch - they are rightfully furious about all the false rape accusations going on and the fact that the women behind them face no punishment for that kind of perjury. They decry the fact that Jian is now broke from paying legal fees to defend himself.

For me - I have been watching the rise of feminism in our society and I've made a lot of enemies by opposing it. Things started going downhill when women were handed total control of reproductive rights. The advent of the Pill gave women complete control over conception, and the courts gave women legal power over the men that impregnated them. If you are a man and don't want to pay for the child - tough chit! If the woman wants to carry the baby to term you'll pay for that kid whether you want to or not! If she decides to abort it, men have no say in that either. That is a pile of garbage right there - but it set the stage for even more: the advent of 'free love' and feminism. Both combined to make sex meaningless. Both ideas combined and conspired to make women easy and cheap.

Women are not easy and cheap by nature, and the classical tenets of old world marriage are hard wired into their genes just as it is for men. The marriage contract is merely an extension of the biological sexual contract that is as old as our species itself. When that contract got torn up by liberated women, angry lesbians, and other idiot feminists - they left themselves at the mercy of men like Jian Ghomeshi. They found themselves to be nothing more than whores - who couldn't even expect payment for their services. All of a sudden, free love wasn't all that great an idea. All of a sudden, women want something in return for 'putting out'. That is why we are seeing so many of these phoney rape accusations. They say that hell hath no fury like a woman scorned...but the derisive laughter coming from those of us with a triple digit IQ's here is deafening. But it's sad too.

Consider: Ghomeshi was a minor celeb and had a career in front of him. But, he had an ego and he fed it with tire-biting women and skanks with no morals or self respect. He used them and tossed them aside with impunity. Now he's penniless and his career prospects probably involve the nightshift at the Quickee Mart. Serves him right. The gold diggers? Well...they were played for fools and mistreated. When they tried to cheat and exact revenge by abusing due process of the law - they rightfully failed and incurred the mirth of anyone smart enough to see them for the fools they are. Liberals wanted this sleazy, slutty hook up culture - they got it, and they got burned by it! HAR HAR HAR! Awesome!

 
This rape case has the Glen Filthie Seal Of Approval!

Look kids. You don't want the hook up culture. If you want a good marriage, don't look at your parents for answers. Look at your grandparents. In the Dirty 30's, when times were at their worst - women had to be just as smart and just as resourceful as the men - and they were, too! My grandmother and my wife are such women and they are as ruthlessly practical as any man. Such women wouldn't give a piece of shit like Ghomeshi a second glance! Nor should our women today. Our young men need to sit back and think too: there is no such thing as free love. The minute you hop in the sack with a woman, there are a metric ton of legal consequences for you to consider. It behooves you to know who you are jumping in the sack with. Even whores will expect to be paid and thanks to our liberal infested courts, their fee structures aren't cheap and carry the force of law.

Respect yourself, and respect your woman. Classical marriage is a great deal that allows you to pool resources, split labour, and play to your strengths as a team, and minimize exposure by covering each other's weaknesses. This rape case is a case study in what happens when idiots get what exactly what they want, and can't handle what they got!

Life is only complicated when people get stupid.

Sunday, 27 March 2016

Binding Wounds

The King Of Rifle cleaning products hits one clear outta the park.

In a few minutes I am going to church with my wife. I've never been before. It has taken a force of will to get me there but after a few comments from a few readers, and that one from BP - I'm ready. I'm not looking for God or moral superiority - I am just looking to bind a few wounds that are taking their own sweet time to heal.

Wish me luck - and Happy Easter to you!

Saturday, 26 March 2016

I Can Be Tempted - But I Will Not Be Gulled

Well, maybe I shouldn't say that. I'm a goddamn fool - but not as dumb as I look! HAR HAR HAR!

Today my mission was simple and straightforward: a trip to Ye Olde Gun Shoppe for some supplies, an ever so pleasant stop at the BBQ shop for some hickory wood pellets, and then home for beer and BBQ ham! What could possibly go wrong?

Welp...the dealership for Indian Motorcycles is right beside the BBQ shop! And of course as soon as I pulled into the BBQ shop parking lot - I figured I would just dip in to the dealership to see what the 2016's were like. Next thing I know, I'm wheeling and dealing on this:

That, boys and girls, is what metal perfection looks like.
 
So I tell the salesman look - let's cut the shit. My 'old' bike is a 2014 Kawi 1700cc touring bike with 6700 km on it - in other words - damn near new. They had a 2015 Chieftain for $28,100. I don't care about sticker prices - all that matters to me is what I gotta shell out of my wallet to get the bike out the door - and I explained that bluntly to the sales guy and his manager. I figured my bike + $13K was a square deal. (Yeah, I know, I was taking it in the hooper - but this is an Indian fer gawdsakes! Ego does not come cheap). We agreed, and I brought my bike in and figured the inspection would be a formality. But - oh no! Why, my new machine has cupped tires!!!! Oh, here we go, I thought to myself. Okay, you f-nozzles, I said - what will it take to get the bike out the door? I've told ya once, cut the shit. I won't tell you again.

"Why, Mr. Filthie - how RUDE!!! No need to be tetchy, how about ...your bike and $17K?"

I started laughing. "Why don't YOU go copulate with a duck?" I asked the sales manager. Things went downhill from there. The sales manager got one hand on the scruff of my neck, the other on the back of my belt - and I got the bum's rush out the door! My bike was pushed out and parked beside me. At the last second the buggers cranked the prices up and figured I could be led like a lamb to the slaughter.

I wonder how many men would have gone along with them? I look at all these dummies racking up debt and credit cards - they finance these damn things for 72 months now. Hell's bells, what kind of idiot goes into hock for 6 years...for a motorcycle? Fuck you, Cycle Works! HAR HAR HAR!

I would love to have an Indian motorcycle...but I don't like the local distributor and won't deal with them. I wanna throw this out there and if any of you have two cents to share - I would sincerely appreciate it! See if this makes sense to ya:

 
I want this - but in a motorcycle version

See that Caddy? That thing says 'Dad's Car' all over it! I want 'Dad's Motorcycle' and that Indian above is pretty close to the mark. The only one I've seen that comes closer was a pimped Harley Davidson Street Glide if I recall. One of my customers owned it but I lost touch with him. If any of you can recommend alternates - please do so!

Yannow...maybe I can be gulled after all...in the meantime: a pox on Cycle Works Edmonton, and a plague on their salesmen! May God rot their balls for the lying scum they are!!!!! HAR HAR HAR!!!
For shame! Who woulda thunk it...a dishonest salesman???? I thought they were all as pure as the driven snow...like me!

;)

An Attempted Return To Grace

Awhile back I got in supreme shit. Or rather - I got myself in supreme shit with another blogger when I shared a bit to much of myself on the internet - because I was piss

Friday, 25 March 2016

BW Must Have Missed This One....

 
 
 
 
 
 
                                                       
Can't say I blame him for not stopping in though. You don't wanna know the name of this Alberta town it's in either, HAR HAR HAR!!!
 
 
Hope yer all off to a great start on the easter weekend. I went out to the rifle range today and would have been better off drinking in that bar and then going shooting...I have some M14 skullbuggery going on here and it is really...really...REALLY - starting to piss me off!!!! At least I ran into the local ERT Team boys. They were out with their suppressed sniper rifles and I got all the once fired brass! Damn - they are good kids. I chewed one of the boys out because he shot a group on the human silhouette target and his shooting was almost as crappy as mine...but that's how old farts stick their feet in their mouths. While I was wrestling my M14, our boy was busy doing 30 fast push ups. The key there was to accelerate the heart beat and breathing and THEN try to make the shot! He did alright, 3 of the shots would have been killers and the other two would ruin a bad guy's day for sure.
 
 
In keeping with the poor marksmanship and the boozy theme of things today, I have this fine one for your delectation!
 
 
Sonofabitch! Gimmee a drink!
 
 


Thursday, 24 March 2016

Look Out! Here Comes The Snivellerman!!!

 
Snivellerman! Snivellerman!
Friendly neighbourhood Snivelleman!
Does whatever a sniveller can!
 
In the chill of night
At the scene of a crime
Like a streak of light,
He...she...xhe....it...errr....

 
 
 
 
 
 
Errrrr...I don't think we're gonna do Saturday morning cartoons anymore. Perhaps my moral and intellectual superiors are right in that they poison and corrupt young minds...HAR HAR HAR!

The Adventure Bike: A Good Idea Gone Wrong

Years ago I fell into the Adventure Bike craze. The concept was irresistible: a heavy street/trail bike made to travel anywhere that two wheels could tread! Just looking at these titans makes the heart beat a little faster.


 
The glamour shots can't possibly lie! Paris to Dakar - this monster will handle it all! Even Mad Max would approve.
 
Being an experienced rider I couldn't get my head around the Big Bejezus Boxer Beemer. The pictures don't lie - that is one big bastid of a bike. It has a helluva lot of weight sitting up high - and in the dirt, a high centre of gravity couldn't be worse. It's not that great in street bikes either, for the winds can raise hell on tall bikes.
 
But....Paris to Dakar, man!!! And what about all those guys with the mid-life crisis thing going on? When they walk out of the office to take a year off for a global motorcycle road trip - this is the bike they ride and you will see it everywhere, from Siberia to Tuktoyuktuk and everywhere in between. If big power is good in the dirt, more just has to be better, right?
 
I wanted one!!!!
 
At the time a Beemer like that one was going for around $26~$28K from our friends over at Argyll Motorsports. I could have bought it but that little (and I mean little) voice in the back of my head - the one that always advocates common sense and self preservation - just wouldn't shut up. "Are you serious, Filthie? Are you fuggin' stupid? That thing is all ego and you know it, you moron! It will be an absolute pig in the dirt, it will cost a bloody fortune to maintain, and the first time you dump it you'll cry like a baby because it got scratched, and your upper tibia bone just broke! Smarten up, for once in your life...'
 
But I couldn't let it go. I had visions of hammock camping in exotic places.
 
 
All that stood between me and Utopia was the acquisition of a 1200cc Beemer Adventure bike...isn't that the coolest camp you've ever seen? Ultralight luxury!!!!
 
I couldn't do it. I refuse to finance things whenever possible and it fosters a damnable financial prudence sometimes. You do it - walk into the dealership with $28K cash and plop it down on the salesman's desk without a second thought! You see my dilemma...?
 
But, there's more than one way to skin a cat! ("Aw, jeez...." my inner adult moaned). The Japanese were retrofitting and modding some bikes to approximate a version of the big Beemer for easily under half the cost!
 
 
That's my old Suzuki V-Strom 1000...pretty cool to look at - and the biggest piece of SHIT in the world!
 
That statement above is enough to get me killed by a dedicated 'Strom Trooper' - and it would be ruled a justifiable hom-O-cide afterward, HAR HAR HAR! But...I don't care! This one had a UFO black box engine tuner, Vance & Hines exhaust, aftermarket windshields and crash bars and other bolt-on farkles...and it was still the biggest piece of shit to roll over the earth! It was top heavy. On Hwy 2 around the Big Valley turn off the winds get so fierce that they will literally blow 18 wheelers into the ditch sometimes. They nearly got me and my wife who was riding behind. And the noise - hell's bells. Ya wanna know how to spot a motorcycle phony? Listen to his bike - if it sounds like a raped ape when he blaps the throttle - he's a poseur! On a long trip noise like that would drive me effin NUTS! And of course it was a pig in the dirt. You can imagine how well a bigger bike like the Beemer would handle in the dirt after riding a pig like this. ("I TOLDJYA SO!!!" my inner adult scolded. Fuck him).
 
If you are considering the Adventure Bike I have some excellent advice:
 
 
This is the Kawasaki KLR650. It goes for around $7~8K last time I looked - and it will do Paris to Dakar too. You can only go so fast on adverse terrain, Sunshine. It isn't optimal on the highway but will do it if it must.
 
 
This is a loaded down Suzuki DR650. Both of these bikes can do Paris to Dakar and from Here to Hell and back again - standing on their heads.
 
 
I ran into Ian The Great White Hunter at the rod n gun club last weekend...and he ignored his inner adult and chose to indulge his inner idiot...and bought the big Beemer. He spent one season with it and then went back down to the BMW800cc adventure bike.
 
Common sense is the order of the day, here. In the dirt and on the trail you want to be as light on your feet as you can possibly be. The new BMW 800's are about as big as you can currently go and still do that. They are still light enough to muscle a bit too. These 650's above? They have been unglamorous adventure bikes for decades. They're bullet proof, but they're cheap too. They are the best place to start if you are just getting into it. If I had to do it again, I would go with the Suzuki because I like them. The Kawi would be just as good.
 
Today I'm a fat old fart and I see the kids go by on those adventure bikes and I smile wistfully. Enjoy the ride, kids. Be safe, make sure your campfire's out when ya leave - and take lots of good pics for the old farts at home to look at!

Wednesday, 23 March 2016

Bench Tops And Blog Wars

Hmmmmmmmm.

It would seem The Feral Irishman is infringing on the marketplace of CW over at the Daily Timewaster: If those two guys got into a blog war it would be a gift from god for me. I love stuff like this.

 
I've seen plans for this heart warming sweetheart over at Lee Valley too...
 
 
My own father was a wood worker. Still is, I guess - but he's older now, and a little shakier and a little less motivated. He built my kitchen table and my liquor cabinet. The table was a flawless butcher-block style that was just perfect for our country kitchen but for years, the temperature and humidity changes of the seasons would have it curl slightly - kind of like a 'taco' shape - in winter. In summer it would flatten out again. It doesn't do it anymore, though. He also built my liquor cabinet and the only gripe I have about that is that it is too small - HAR HAR HAR! (He would make some snide joke about there not being enough wood at Windsor to make one big enough to suit my needs).
 
 
I know what he would say about that bench too - that it sure looks purdy...but it really isn't functional. That thing is a work of art and a demonstration of mastery and skill. I don't know much about tradesmen but from what I've seen of them they can pick the damndest projects to demonstrate their skill. Out at the rod and gun club some old retired fart took umbrage at the dilapidated shitters and in a fit of pique - knocked one down one day and then spent the rest of the week replacing it. When he was done we had an out house suitable for visiting royalty! The club execs were so impressed he was commissioned to do a couple others on the property as well. My next door neighbour is a tin basher and HVAC guy who installs furnaces and ducting. When he replaced my furnace last year he knew exactly who had done the original work - apparently these guys have little flourishes and signatures in how they bend and fold metal. His wife has copper pot for watering flowers that he made for her as an apprenticeship project decades ago...and the thing is so beautiful you could set it on a kitchen or coffee table as a decoration! I've seen pale imitations of it at Lee Valley too - and they go for over a hundred bucks easy.
 
 
This is my work bench. Scarred by burns, stained by spilled fuel, chemicals, booze ... this bench has been working honestly for close to 20 years now.
 
Pop hates my work bench and says it's too high. He works differently than I do, he likes his benches to be lower. For me it's perfect; the vices unbolt, the drill press is C-clamped and can be removed in seconds too - and then I have a totally flat work bench to do whatever I want. Right now it's covered in gun stuff and reloading junk.
 
I am fond of candles and kerosene lamps too. Often there is one burning in the Filthie Sword & Saddle Shoppe. I do it deliberately - it drives Pop nuts! The thought of open flame around all the gun powder scares the crap out of him and I just smile. Of course there is no danger, the ammo and powder are never anywhere near the flame...but such are the head games fathers and sons play.
 
What does your playground look like?
 


Tuesday, 22 March 2016

If There's Anyone Who HASN'T Been Offended By The Recent Posts...

Please be patient! I'm getting to you!

In politics...I think the Donald just won the election:

Good evening. I speak to you today as a lifelong supporter and true friend of Israel. I am a newcomer to politics but not to backing the Jewish state.

In late 2001, weeks after the attacks on New York City and Washington – attacks perpetrated by Islamic fundamentalists, Mayor Giuliani visited Israel to show solidarity with terror victims. I sent him in my plane because I backed the mission 100%.

In Spring 2004, at the height of violence in the Gaza Strip, I was the Grand Marshal of the 40th Salute to Israel Parade, the largest single gathering in support of the Jewish state.

It was a very dangerous time for Israel and frankly for anyone supporting Israel – many people turned down this honor –I did not, I took the risk.

I didn’t come here tonight to pander to you about Israel. That’s what politicians do: all talk, no action. I came here to speak to you about where I stand on the future of American relations with our strategic ally, our unbreakable friendship, and our cultural brother, the only democracy in the Middle East, the State of Israel.

My number one priority is to dismantle the disastrous deal with Iran. I have been in business a long time. I know deal-making and let me tell you, this deal is catastrophic – for America, for Israel, and for the whole Middle East.

The problem here is fundamental. We have rewarded the world’s leading state sponsor of terror with $150 billion and we received absolutely nothing in return.

I’ve studied this issue in greater detail than almost anybody. The biggest concern with the deal is not necessarily that Iran is going to violate it, although it already has, the bigger problem is that they can keep the terms and still get to the bomb by simply running out the clock, and, of course, they keep the billions.

The deal doesn’t even require Iran to dismantle its military nuclear capability! Yes, it places limits on its military nuclear program for only a certain number of years. But when those restrictions expire, Iran will have an industrial-size military nuclear capability ready to go, and with zero provision for delay no matter how bad Iran’s behavior is. When I am president, I will adopt a strategy that focuses on three things when it comes to Iran.

First, we will stand up to Iran’s aggressive push to destabilize and dominate the region. Iran is a very big problem and will continue to be, but if I’m elected President, I know how to deal with trouble. Iran is a problem in Iraq, a problem in Syria, a problem in Lebanon, a problem in Yemen, and will be a very major problem for Saudi Arabia. Literally every day, Iran provides more and better weapons to their puppet states.
Hezbollah in Lebanon has received sophisticated anti-ship weapons, anti-aircraft weapons, and GPS systems on rockets. Now they’re in Syria trying to establish another front against Israel from the Syrian side of the Golan Heights.

In Gaza, Iran is supporting Hamas and Islamic Jihad – and in the West Bank they are openly offering Palestinians $7,000 per terror attack and $30,000 for every Palestinian terrorist’s home that’s been destroyed.

Iran is financing military forces throughout the Middle East and it is absolutely indefensible that we handed them over $150 billion to facilitate even more acts of terror.

Secondly, we will totally dismantle Iran’s global terror network. Iran has seeded terror groups all over the world. During the last five years, Iran has perpetrated terror attacks in 25 different countries on five continents. They’ve got terror cells everywhere, including in the western hemisphere very close to home. Iran is the biggest sponsor of terrorism around the world and we will work to dismantle that reach.

Third, at the very least, we must hold Iran accountable by restructuring the terms of the previous deal. Iran has already – since the deal is in place – test-fired ballistic missiles three times. Those ballistic missiles, with a range of 1,250 miles, were designed to intimidate not only Israel, which is only 600 miles away but also intended to frighten Europe, and, someday, the United States.

Do you want to hear something really shocking? As many of the great people in this room know, painted on those missiles – in both Hebrew and Farsi – were the words “Israel must be wiped off the face of the earth.”

What kind of demented minds write that in Hebrew? And here’s another twisted part – testing these missiles does not even violate the horrible deal that we made!

The deal is silent on test missiles but those tests DO violate UN Security Council Resolutions. The problem is, no one has done anything about it. Which brings me to my next point – the utter weakness and incompetence of the United Nations.

The United Nations is not a friend of democracy. It’s not a friend to freedom. It’s not a friend even to the United States of America, where as all know, it has its home. And it surely isn’t a friend to Israel.

With President Obama in his final year, discussions have been swirling about an attempt to bring a security council resolution on the terms of an eventual agreement between Israel and Palestine. Let me be clear: An agreement imposed by the UN would be a total and complete disaster. The United States must oppose this resolution and use the power of our veto. Why? Because that’s not how you make a deal.

Deals are made when parties come to the table and negotiate. Each side must give up something it values in exchange for something it requires. A deal that imposes conditions on Israel and the Palestinian Authority will do nothing to bring peace. It will only further delegitimize Israel and it would reward Palestinian terrorism, because every day they are stabbing Israelis – and even Americans.

Just last week, American Taylor Allen Force, a West Point grad who served in Iraq and Afghanistan, was murdered in the street by a knife-wielding Palestinian. You don’t reward that behavior, you confront it!

It’s not up the United Nations to impose a solution. The parties must negotiate a resolution themselves. The United States can be useful as a facilitator of negotiations, but no one should be telling Israel it must abide by some agreement made by others thousands of miles away that don’t even really know what’s happening.

When I’m president, believe me, I will veto any attempt by the UN to impose its will on the Jewish state. You see, I know about deal-making – that’s what I do. I wrote The Art of the Deal, one of the all-time best-selling books about deals and deal making. To make a great deal, you need two willing participants.

We know Israel is willing to deal. Israel has been trying to sit down at the negotiating table, without pre-conditions, for years. You had Camp David in 2000, where Prime Minister Barak made an incredible offer – maybe even too generous. Arafat rejected it.

In 2008, Prime Minister Olmert made an equally generous offer. The Palestinian Authority rejected it. Then John Kerry tried to come up with a framework and Abbas didn’t even respond, not even to the Secretary of State of the United States of America!

When I become President, the days of treating Israel like a second-class citizen will end on Day One. I will meet with Prime Minister Netanyahu immediately. I have known him for many years and we will be able to work closely together to help bring stability and peace to Israel and to the entire region.

Meanwhile, every single day, you have rampant incitement and children being taught to hate Israel and hate the Jews. When you live in a society where the firefighters are the hero’s little kids want to be firefighters.

When you live in a society where athletes and movie stars are heroes, little kids want to be athletes and movie stars. In Palestinian society, the heroes are those who murder Jews – we can’t let this continue. You cannot achieve peace if terrorists are treated as martyrs. Glorifying terrorists is a tremendous barrier to peace.

In Palestinian textbooks and mosques, you’ve got a culture of hatred that has been fermenting there for years, and if we want to achieve peace, they’ve got to end this indoctrination of hatred. There is no moral equivalency. Israel does not name public squares after terrorists. Israel does not pay its children to stab random Palestinians.

You see, what President Obama gets wrong about deal making is that he constantly applies pressure to our friends and rewards our enemies. That pattern, practiced by the President and his administration, including former Secretary of State, Hillary Clinton, has repeated itself over and over and has done nothing but embolden those who hate America. We saw that with releasing $150 billion to Iran in the hope that they would magically join the world community – It’s the same with Israel and Palestine.

President Obama thinks that applying pressure to Israel will force the issue, but it’s precisely the opposite. Already, half the population of Palestine has been taken over by the Palestinian ISIS in Hamas, and the other half refuses to confront the first half, so it’s a very difficult situation but when the United States stands with Israel, the chances of peace actually rise. That’s what will happen when I’m president.

We will move the American embassy to the eternal capital of the Jewish people, Jerusalem – and we will send a clear signal that there is no daylight between America and our most reliable ally, the state of Israel.

The Palestinians must come to the table knowing that the bond between the United States and Israel is unbreakable. They must come to the table willing and able to stop the terror being committed on a daily basis against Israel and they must come to the table willing to accept that Israel is a Jewish State and it will forever exist as a Jewish State.

Thank you very much, its been a great honor to be with you.

This is why I love Americans and America. In Canada, when some bunghole politician goes on a bender and pulls bad law out of his arse...we're usually stuck with it. Our gun laws suck so bad that nobody obeys them and the cops and courts refuse to enforce them! I can imagine your delight when Bush let the idiotic Clinton Assault rifle bans slide into the trash where they belonged. Here we see the Donald proposing solutions to the Iranian problem created by the Buckwheat Administration. It all sounds good to me! The guy is making America great even before he gets elected...

Thanks To All Who Dropped By!

Once again, thanks to all that popped by and especially those of you that took the time to comment. Yannow, the old rule is that there's a couple things ya don't ever talk about: politics, religion...and something else I don't remember.

Looks like I lost one of my most esteemed intellectual peers and curmudgeon emeritus - that may or may not have read more into what I posted than I intended. I regret that... and I posted a little bit more of myself and my family than was wise. I have no problem sharing stuff like that with you, Gentle Reader...but on the internet ya never know who is reading what, what axe he has to grind, and what he might do with sensitive info. I deleted my posts and regretfully - the comments as well. I would have retained them if I could.

But as everyone knows, all of life's most important decisions and one's deepest thought always goes on in the latrine! For those of you offended - should you ever decide to return - you will remain, as always, honoured and respected guests here at the Thunderbox - where flatulence isn't just a bodily function - it's a way of thought!

Cheers,

Filthie

Friday, 18 March 2016

Friday Night Karaoke


I was never much of a bar hopper when I was a younger man. Don’t get me wrong – I drank like a fish ((and still do on occasion)..okay…quite a few occasions dammit)…but the bar scene never really appealed to me. Mind you, my ‘bar scene’ was pretty much confined to the seedy peeler clubs my pervert co-workers liked to go to after work…but the blaring music and the sleaze kinda turned me off.  A lot of the fellas like to post pics of the hotties and pin up girls on their blogs and I have no problem with it – I am not a prude – but in real life I would give those ladies a very, very wide miss. Call me paranoid but it seems to me that where money, power and sex are present – sinister, unethical people are too. Aside from my mild sporadic rampant alcoholism…I tend to be a fairly straight arrow.

When I was a kid one of the bars around here was called ‘Checkers’ and its clientele was over on the older side. We’re talking about rich, horny old cougars and the disreputable smoothies and cads like Uncle Bob that preyed upon them.  (And you thought Uncle Bob paid for that Lotus sports car himself? HAR HAR HAR!!!!) The music was quiet, laid back and mellow and the place was an excellent meeting point for old farts and fartettes, elderly chick magnets like The Rat and even old hippies like Wirecutter. Everyone was welcome and comfortable at Checkers which is more than can be said for 98% of the bars out there today! Perhaps those old grey hairs knew something us rowdier kids didn’t? I kinda wish the place was still around today but alas, it's long gone and a Goodwill store occupies the premises now...and I suppose that's a good thing too. I have some stuff to donate now that I think of it. Suppose the site is being put to better use...

In homage to Checkers and the fat    old    distinguished mature customers thereof,  the focus of tonight’s karaoke is “The Coolest Old Fart Alive”. I have a few submissions, and will take requests under advisement for a reasonable fee!

 
 
This ratty old beardo has his own sound. I first heard this tune on 'Sons of Anarchy' back before it was written by hormonal 14 year old girls. I love how Hollyweird thinks all our vets are fugged up head cases with PTSD... For our vets back from the Sand Box... I say you did a bigger number on 'Dad than he did on you! And good work!

 
When I perfect the Way Back Machine I'm going back in time to pick up an Ariel. Richard can have his Vincent...
Richard Thompson shines as a folk singer... It's corny as hell, but the story is old too!
 
 
This is an Ariel Square Four. On your knees, Harley Riders - and pay homage to this metal god! Tonight old is cool!
 
 
 
 
Telegraph Road never really became as popular for Dire Straights as it should have. Most good musicians can put emotion into their music and lyrics...but Mark Knopfler puts atmosphere into his. In 1984 I couldn't find decent work for love or money and the unemployment rate for Alberta youth was at 35%. This tune struck a chord with many young men back then including myself. Guitarist Mark Knopfler is one cool old fart!
 
 
 
The first time I heard this tune was on one of those music Ipods back when I was running. I was chugging along at around 10 or 12 clicks when this one came up on the shuffle. My legs turned to mush, I went sprawling across the grass and figured that if I was gonna have The Big One...the music for it couldn't be better! What is her vocal? Contralto? Coolest old broad alive? She has to be close!
 

Diana barely makes the cut. Sure, she's 51 like Yours Truly...but she has aged much better! She's almost too youthful and beautiful to be considered 'old'. The title for The Coolest Old Fartette induces a split personality in me. Tracy Chapman can belt out music that can even get my beshitted, gout infested big toe tapping...
 
 
Wow.
 
Screw it! Turn in your keys, everyone, the taxis can take us home! Stackz! Be a sport and check all the firearms and pistols whilst I go round and top up the drinks! Men - have a cigar, by all means! I stole them from Uncle Bob's humidor this morning! (You can have a cigar too, Bob!)

 
Let tonight be a classy Friday night!  :)
 

Thursday, 17 March 2016

Career Advice For Men: Sorcery

 
No mere man, this - nay...this is sorcery and poetry in motion
 
 
I like to fancy myself a chithouse scotch afficianado of sorts. The other day at the liquor store I ran into a rep who gave me an idea of what goes into a good whisky and the most critical man involved - the cellar master.
 
It's one thing to get snooty and snobbish with my intellectual colleagues like BW as we put on phony airs of sophistication by enjoying the finest scotches...but consider what this guy here is doing: while I am guzzling savouring the finished product this guy is quietly moving through the distillery warehouse, sipping and sampling the spirits that sleep within the casks. This is where the magic happens.
 
The cellar master is basically tasting young spirit that has all the subtlety and smoothness of lighter fluid! Young scotch (or bourbon or Tennessee sipping whisky) hasn't had time to mature and mellow and take on the char and wood notes of the cask - that takes a decade or more. So while this stuff is at its most horrible - this is when the cellar master samples it and decides whether this cask will be the 12 year old, or if it is something special and will be put aside - maybe for 40 years or more! Whisky, like wine - stops ageing once its bottled.
 
How in blazes do you develop a skill like that? What a fine career it would make!!! 
 
It's payday next Friday and I am confounded by decisions that must be made in the liquor cabinet. I am out of The Dalemore, Cardhu and haven't had a bottle of Lagavulin in my stores in ages. Should I go with a known and established scotch? Or should I try one of the new special bottlings? Many of which, unfortunately, are over-priced disappointments?
 
 
 
I'm strongly tempted to sue. That drawing comes from a photo of BW and I enjoying a dram of the good stuff at Skinny Dick's in Twin Butts Alberta! If only I could find a sleazy lawyer with no ethics or self respect to prosecute my case - I could cash in!!!

Tuesday, 15 March 2016

What The Manosphere Means To Me

Uncle Bob has a thought provoking piece up at the Treehouse that hits most of the marks - and misses a few too.

I'm a bit younger than Unca Bob, and a bit older than most Gen Xers. Fact is - I'm caught smack-dab between the Boomer generation and Gen X depending on who defines the terms - born in 1964 I am either a leading edge Gen X or a trailing Boomer...so I have a different perspective than he does. I was also brought up much differently - if I recall correctly Unca Bob was born on the "wrong side of the tracks" where as I was born to upper-middle class parents. In fact, to hear them describe it, both my parents grew up on the "wrong side of the tracks" too...and they were determined that their children would have everything they did not. So it was that my childhood was about dogs, chickens, dirt bikes, BB guns with baseball mitts in the summer and ice hockey in the winter.

In school all my teachers were the new enlightened  modern empowered women. Many manosphere types think the war on men is a recent development - but I can tell you the first shots were being fired long before today's crop of self-proclaimed alpha men were even born. Women basically took over education when I was a boy - and everything changed. The strap was thrown out. Teachers thought they could punish us with 'time outs'. There was always a 7th or 8th chance, along with do-overs, mulligans and extenuating circumstances. I learned early in the game I could cruise through school on autopilot and get away with anything short of murder. So did the other boys - and some of them got into some really, really serious trouble largely because our female teachers couldn't reign us in or control us. We did the absolute minimum to get by - and the teachers passed us on with a sigh of relief - only to inherit even more feral boys being passed up from the grades below the next year.

By the time I hit junior high drugs were everywhere. Boys were bringing knives to school and I learned to fight. I had to. Male teachers started to quit in droves and the ones that remained - weren't worth a hill of beans. Any attempt made to control their classes was met with disciplinary action. A few of the girls were raped. I started carrying a blade - just in case. Kids started going to the hospital from drug overdoses or injuries from brawls. So it went for high school.

I graduated in 82 just when the booming Alberta oil economy went bust. Jobs dried up but there was something new to contend with too - I was white and male and me and the other young men my age in the same boat - became the new niggers of the politically correct workplace. The only jobs I could get were the ones nobody wanted. The depressed economy didn't help. I had graduated high school without a work ethic and to get thrown into a cut throat job economy nearly did me in - it was culture shock. There was no fairness, no breaks - and my parents expected me to somehow grow up, decide the course of my life and buckle down and get to work - and succeed - in that environment. Oh - and I had to do all that overnight. Of course, I failed. By contrast, my wife had no problems at all landing a good job. All I could get were jobs driving a forklift and stacking boxes at pissant wages. We decided I would go back to school.

When I graduated (Class of 95) the economy still hadn't recovered. There was a handful of "decent" jobs in the placement centre for grads - and they all went to the natives and women. When I told my family about it they called me a whiner and said I was copping out. The workplace offered more scut jobs. I became bitter and skeptical and have pretty much remained that way since.

I got my first "real" job in my 30's running the office of an instrumentation branch office. It wasn't until I saw the resumes coming off the fax machine that I realized - I wasn't alone! Most men my age had pock-marked resumes from job hopping the same way I did...and most of their job experience consisted of crappy dead end jobs like mine did! You cannot imagine my astonishment! Holy crap - my parents, my fuggin in-laws, society in general had been telling me I was a loser, I had no skills and abilities, that women and vibrants were more capable and valuable than I ... but it wasn't just me!

Then the internet came along and we were finally able to compare notes - and the Manosphere was born. At first there was a lot of real value to it and it is still there today: No, young fella - it isn't just you! This society doesn't give a shit about you! Yeah - of course the vibrant or a young woman will get a crack at the good jobs before you will because - white male privilege!!!! Can't get along with your woman? Well, it's obviously all YOUR fault, fella - and she has every right to take you to the cleaners in divorce court! Got passed over for promotion and lost out to a vibrant that can't speak or write passable English? Stop whining - you racist prick!

You get the idea. Most of us can relate to at least some of that.

Men that have been fucked over or deeply emotionally hurt... can be remarkably easy to take advantage of. Today phonies like Vox Day, Roosh and other turdies give bad advice to young men that will only make them more bitter. Uncle Bob regularly gets in chit from younger readers that desperately want to believe that crap. For older men like myself and Unca Bob it's really easy to throw out the baby with the bath water when it comes to Manosphere dogma.

The classical core values of the Manosphere are timeless and as relevant today as they always were. Self improvement, always. Expand your horizons as far as you can. Money is not everything, nor is it the root of all evil. Keep a positive mental outlook. Don't take the predations of today's sick liberal society personally. Establish goals, work toward them and most of all...BE PATIENT. Success will not come overnight in today's perverted political and economic climate. Keep your mouth shut, and your ears open.

If I could correct anything about the manosphere - it would be the perception of women. While the war on men has deeply hurt us - especially the younger fellas ... it has hurt our young women just as badly or worse. Probably much worse. They are being pushed into roles that defy common sense, 250,000 years of human evolution, and even their own biology. They are even less happy than the fellas are and they are looking for somebody to blame for it - I suppose it's that scapegoating thing Unca Bob is on about. They are victims of the modern liberal social engineers the same way the boys are.

What's to be done?

This is just my opinion but for me all the problems are simple and started when the enlightened social engineers started loosening moral standards. When men started jumping any woman that moved without regard to who or what she was - the fit started hitting the shan! There is no such thing as free love and never has been. Sex and love are embedded at the genetic level as a contract between the genders which is why classical marriage evolved the way it did. That's why today men are getting shanghaied on phony rape/paternity/divorce cases. Love is not free - nor should it be. Woe be unto the man that forgets that - even once!

The manosphere embraces promiscuity when in point of fact it should reject it wholesale. Yes, you WILL go to the cleaners in divorce court. Yes, you CAN get charged with rape after a casual consentual roll in the hay years ago. Yes, you can get nailed with a hokey paternity suit by some skank using her ovaries to cash in. It's not fair - it's life in the real world today. The way to short circuit all that crap is with classical, long courtships. If you get in the sack with a woman you don't know you are at her mercy. It behooves you to know who you're swapping fluids with.

The future?

I see all this enlightenment as a passing fad. Legions of quiet, polite men are secretly furious about stuff like this and the political correctness that drives it. The push-back is already here: Donald Trump is flipping off the media, the liberals, the feminists and the social justice wanks to the applause of millions. If you don't like Trump - just wait and see what's coming if things keep going the way they are. Reckonings are always painful.

We are watching the tides of history in play, and for myself - I'm afloat on them for now, sometimes carried by the current in directions I like, and sometimes in directions I don't. My wife and I confront those tides and currents as a team and every so often I stop and thank God for her. At times I would have drowned in those waters, had she not reached down to haul me up. Together we've weathered changing times and although we aren't rich - we ARE free...and for us, life doesn't get much better than that.

For me the thing to take away from the Manosphere is this: you are not alone, it's not your imagination - the shitty end of the stick is yours.

The question is - what are you going to do with it?

Monday, 14 March 2016

More Manly Problems

Unlike the bubblegumming children of the manosphere that fret and obsess over women and their fragile self images and egos - some of us have real problems to prognosticate on.

I have an anniversary coming up. I am still happily married (can't speak for the missus, though). I haven't got the foggiest notion how to handle it either. When we were kids we would pack up the little S10 chevy truck in 15~20 minutes...and head for the hills. They were great days; we would fill the cat food up to top capacity, flush the toilets and leave the lids up so they had water - and we were off like a shot come rain, sleet, hell or highwater for a couple days of outdoor bliss. CW over at the Daily Timewaster CW often posts wilderness pics that could have come right out of our first years together when all we needed was a good tarp, ropes and warm, dry fart sacks to sleep in.

I kinda figured we would do it again just for old time's sake. So much has changed. We have no kid anymore, we have dogs that will come with us to guard and poop around the camp. Will our old Kelty 4 season tent still be up to the task?

What happens when two adults and two big dogs start burping and farting in a confined space?
 
 
We have one of those mobile fire pit things that are just great for a night out. It has a grill on it if we want to burn some meat and a dome shaped spark arrestor to leave on when we hit the hay at the end of the day and the fire has burned low.
 
 
These things are awesome. You fill 'em up with firewood and throw it in the back of the truck. Once camp is set up, you haul it out, dump out the firewood and start feeding it back in once the blaze is going.
 

I'm 51 now, and my bones don't fit the ground the way they used to when I was in my 20's. Our equipment is old but of high quality and March is still awful early to go out up here in northern Alberta. We have his n' hers CZ .22 rifles and figure we will just head into the bush and find a spot and maybe do some plinking, play with the dogs...and chill. No internet, no cell phones, we booked time off work and it should be a quiet night or two out.

Typically guys my age take their gals on exotic cruises or on trips in the warm sun drenched countries to get away...but that just isn't my thing. I've had friends go to countries where the vacation property is fenced and patrolled to keep the beggars and thieves away from the tourists...who needs that? I'll take a camp chair, a beer and a spot beside the fire any day. I might splurge on a fancy bottle of scotch and see if my wife wants anything special...but she is not a big drinker. I'll be surprised if she wants anything.

All in all it should be pretty boring I guess. Whatever...I'm just happy to have her any way she'll take me and if this works - more power to us I suppose.

Nevertheless - if any of you in the peanut gallery have helpful suggestions for an anniversary, I will happily give a penny for your thoughts.

Have a great day all.

Sunday, 13 March 2016

A Manly Challenge: Growing Old Gracefully

Has anyone managed it? Other than Uncle Bob, and The Rat, that is?

Yesterday was unseasonably warm. Water ran in the gutters as the ice melted. I dozed on my feet as I watched the water run, remembering how we raced toothpick 'boats' in these torrential little rivers as kids. The sound of running water hasn't been heard outside around here in a long, long time.

The dogs were covered in mud and yechht. I think I may have gotten my mutt from the same litter Wirecutter got his from - Macey Goddammit was a dripping, stinking ball of fur all weekend. I thought seriously of getting Mort into the barbershop for a pig shave.

Soggy dogs, footprints in the kitchen, and running water and all the other images of spring that make me feel young again. I got on the blower and asked Flapz if he wanted to go for a burn on the bikes.

 
A Harley? Are you friggin kiddin' me Flapz?!?!?

Looks like ol' Flapz decided to go and buy himself a Harley without telling anyone about it. Look at him - looking all tough and cool with his new ride. Screw you, Flapz! I am green with enviousness! HAR HAR HAR!!!

And of course he has the leathers and those gay gloves with the big knuckles on them. We had to ride out in the country because Flapz didn't want to be seen around town with me - I was riding in my best plaid and sweatpants and he figured I was an embarrassment he didn't want to be seen riding with.

 
Abe Simpson on a motorcycle...next he will creep everyone out by talking about how he actually had sex when he was young...
 
 
Two ageing old men, burning up a perfectly good Saturday afternoon. One looked like an old man on a kids bike, and the other looked like an old fart on an old fart's bike. I may just say to hell with it and ride in a bathrobe and slippers this year...
 
 
I've heard the phrase "growing old gracefully" but for the life of me...I don't know what it means or entails. How DO you grow old gracefully?
 
If any of you figure it out be sure to clue the rest of us in.

Friday, 11 March 2016

Look Out! The Thunderbox Is Going High Tech!

Who woulda thunk a fella that craps in a pan could control the skies? Who???? Why, my evil minions of course!


 
You've seen the Crapcopter before...but this time there's something different...
 
 
The flight recorder is working now and we have rudimentary FPV technology installed. The machine sports a new clover leaf antenna and a small live feed camera which will allow me to fly this beast from the co-pilot's seat.
 
 
Two cameras: the one on the left will be my eyes and provide FPV or First Person View...and the one on the right is a crappy Mobius that will record the flight in breath taking FilthieVision!
 
 
This is my first video and it's really lame...
 
Turn the sound off and skip the first and last minute. It's just me zooming around a parking lot and testing out the new technologies. I couldn't get too crazy here as my skills are rudimentary with CP machines...and I'm in a public park near an old folks home just filled with seniors itching for something to complain about. I wasn't able to get the FPV going because the wife probably hit a button she shouldn't have.
 
The camera doesn't do well in the sun but I may be able to get some nice short vids if I can find the right settings. Once the FPV proves itself I have an idea for some stellar footage over the river.
 
 
At least it keeps me busy until the ice comes off and I can get the motorcycle out. Have a good weekend guys.